Your Not Sorry
by TeamEdward1642
Summary: Bella is in love with her best friend Edward Cullen. ALthough he doesn't know it. Will she tell him or will she just give up all together. AH/OOC
1. Preface

You're Not Sorry

Preface.

Love.

Love is complicated. Or at least that's what everyone says.

I personally think love isn't complicated its people that make it that way. Because if you think about it, if you find someone who you truly love, and who loves you back, every things perfect.

I'm not saying there won't be bumps and hardships along the way, but it will always work out in the end.

"Love does not alter when alteration finds", William Shakespeare wrote.

You see these people changing who they are to make someone else love them. But that's not what love is.

Love is when you care about someone no matter who they are, unconditionally. There wouldn't be one thing about them you would change.

Well that's what I hope love is anyway.

But we get these absurd ideas in our heads and convince ourselves we are in love with someone who is completely the wrong person. But we are so stubborn we will deny it till no end.

That's when it gets complicated.

If we just lived and let ourselves see, we would notice maybe the person we think is for us, isn't. The person we convinced ourselves to love that we believe loves us back isn't right.

Well that's what seems to happen to everyone around me.

Me on the other hand, I have known since I was ten years old who I was supposed to end up with.

At least I thought.


	2. Best Friend

**A/N Hello everyone. This is a new story I'm writing. Please let me know what you think. **

**So here is the first chapter.**

**I hope you enjoy=)**

You're Not Sorry

Chapter 1

I heard a pound on my door. I rolled my eyes knowing exactly who it is. I walked quickly to my door and opened it.

There he was, my best friend. Edward Cullen.

He stood there with his adorable crooked grin on his face, his bronze hair sticking out every which way, and his emerald eyes sparkling. He was truly breath taking.

I smiled back at him. "You do realize its 2 in the morning?" I said with fake annoyance. He knew I didn't care what time he came over, he was always welcome.

"Sorry my Bella, I forgot to call first." He said walking past me into my apartment.

I rolled my eyes, because calling first doesn't make it not 2 in the morning.

He flopped down on his back on my couch and groaned. "Rough night?" I asked laughing a little, while sitting on the arm chair on the right of the couch.

He just nodded with his eyes closed. I rolled my eyes again. Edward pretty much went out and partied every night since we were in high school. It always annoyed me to no end, but I got used to it I guess.

"Alrighty well I am going to bed, some of us actually have work tomorrow." I said sarcastically.

I walked over to the couch and kissed his forehead and ruffled his hair and started to my room.

Then all the sudden I was jerked to a stop. He had reached out his hand and caught my arm. Before I could react he pulled me down onto the couch with him.

I laughed. "Edward what are you doing I have to get to bed."

He just shook his head while wrapping his arms around me tighter.

"Edward, I'm serious." I told him, although it wasn't very convincing with me giggling.

"No." He said simply, still not loosening his grip around me.

I sighed and finally relaxed in his arms. "You better let go or I'm going to have to tell everyone about your secret obsession with Celine Dion."

His eyes popped open. "You wouldn't" He warned.

"Try me." I challenged. Then we both burst out laughing.

"Okay seriously though I need to go to bed." I whined, trying again to sit up. His grip still didn't loosen.

"No." He pouted.

"Ugh Edward." I said frustrated, I was getting really tired.

"Sleep out here with me. Please." He pouted again. I took one look at his puppy dog face and caved. No one can resist that face.

I sighed in defeat. "Fine." I grumbled, he smiled victoriously and reached his hand back and flipped off my lamp on the side table on the left of the couch.

He then situated us better so his head was on my throw pillow while my head was on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and sighed in content.

I rolled my eyes. "Night my Bella." He said, I could tell he was still smiling.

"Yeah, yeah goodnight." I said back, clearly annoyed. He chuckled silently, he loved winning. Which he did 99% of the time.

It's not that I minded sleeping in Edwards arms one bit, it's just it makes things harder for me.

I have been completely and fully in love with him since we met, which was about twelve years ago.

As kids he liked me back but we never did anything about it because I mean we were twelve. But once we got into high school Edward being as gorgeous as he is, became popular and every girl in school wanted him.

He quickly became a womanizer and went out with every girl in school just because he could. It only got worse when we got to college.

But throughout all those years we still remained best friends. He believes, well I think, that my feelings for him faded in high school as his did. But of course they didn't, they've probably only gotten stronger.

Seeing him with girls is not easy. Believe me. But one thing I always felt better about was that he never loved any of them. He simply just used them, which I know isn't technically better, but it made me feel better.

I felt him stir underneath me, I took one last glance at his perfectly sculpted features and smiled. I laid my head back down on his chest and drifted into sleep.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_Cause that's what girls do._

_They keep you guessing the whole day through._

My eyes flipped open at my annoying ring tone for my teeny best friend.

I grabbed my phone and flipped it open. "Hello Alice." My voice still groggy from sleep.

"Why are you still sleeping? Don't you have work?" She asked annoyed.

I quickly pulled my phone away from my ear to check the time. 8:05. "Crap!" I sat up quickly. I have to be at work at 8:30.

I could hear Alice giggling in the speaker. "I have to go I'll call you when I get to work." I hung up quickly and jumped off the couch.

Edward woke up with my sudden movement, considering his arms were still wrapped around me. "What?" He asked clearly still half asleep.

I ran into my room grabbing a towel and my clothes and rushed back out to the bathroom.

Edward was just staring at me with and amused, sleepy expression.

"I'm late." I squeaked slamming the door. I could hear him chuckling.

I took the quickest shower I think I ever have in my life. I threw on my clothes and pulled my hair up in the neatest ponytail I could manage. I went into my room and grabbed my purse, and bag and quickly walked towards the door.

Edward was holding out a cup of coffee for me and I took and kissed his cheek quickly. "Thank you. Love you. See you later." I called out as I practically ran out the door. He just laughed at me and waved.

I got to work only a few minutes late, thankfully my boss didn't notice. I was a junior editor at a fashion magazine. Which is sort of ironic considering I really don't have much interest in clothing, but I enjoyed writing.

"Hey Bella." My co-worker Angela greeted me as I walked past her.

"Hey Ange." I liked Angela, she was a genuinely sweet girl. We didn't hang out much but I still enjoyed her company and considered her a good friend.

"How was your night?" She asked conversationally.

"It was okay. Yours?"

"Nothing great." She shrugged, and smiled. I returned it before walking into my office.

I had a pile of paper work I had been putting off that I desperately needed to go through. I groaned and began when my phone rang.

"Sorry I just got here." I said quickly into my phone.

She giggled. "It's okay. I just called to remind you dinner is at my place tonight. You're coming right?"

I laughed. "Alice, you're kidding right?"

She giggled again. "Yes, I was just making sure." I laughed with her.

"Okay well I love you. See you tonight."

"Kay. Love you too. Bye." She said before I hung up.

Work passed slowly as always and when lunch finally came around I was excited. Me and Angela usually spent it together, so I walked to her office.

"Ready?" I asked her.

She looked up and smiled. "Yeah just one minute, I need to send this to Mr. Anderson." She said while staring at her computer screen.

"Okay all done." She said standing up and walking out the door with me.

We walked out to a little café nearby and sat and began chatting.

"Seriously he didn't say that." I managed to choke out between laughs.

She nodded laughing just as hard. We were talking about something her long-term boyfriend Ben had told her. They have been together since college and were very cute together.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt._

_So sexy it hurts._

I cringed internally. This is what I get for letting my friends pick out their own ring tones. I flipped open my phone quickly as my face flushed as everyone looked to see were that ringtone was coming from.

"I am changing your ringtone immediately." I growled into the phone.

I heard a musical chuckle from the other side. "No you are not. You said I could pick it out, and I love it." He said smugly.

I shook my head and Angela giggled at me.

"Okay fine. So what do you want?" My voice came out a little more irritated than I intended it to.

"Well, well is someone still a little grumpy from this morning." He mocked playfully.

"It was your entire fault you know." I told him.

He laughed again, I'm glad he is finding this amusing.

"How was it my fault?" He asked still laughing.

"If you would have let me go to sleep when I wanted to I could have woke up on time. Or in that case if you didn't some over at _two am_" I stressed the time, He was still laughing in the background at my little rant. "Then I could have been asleep much earlier." I finally finished.

He still just laughed. "I'm glad you take me seriously." I spit at him, still pretending to be angry with him.

"I'm sorry Bell. It was my fault." He said still laughing.

"Yeah you sound very sorry."

"I am I swear." He tried to stop laughing, but I could tell it was taking a lot of restraint.

"But I will not apologize for coming over last night because then I wouldn't have been able to see you." I blushed and was glad he couldn't see me.

I sighed. "Okay fine. You're forgiven."

"Thank you." He said triumphantly.

"Okay, okay so why did you really call?" I asked him.

"Oh, to see if you were going to dinner tonight."

I groaned "Seriously why does everyone keep asking me that, have I ever missed?" I whined.

He chuckled, lightly this time. "No, but I'm guessing this is a touchy subject today?" He questioned sarcastically.

I laughed, because I was whining for no reason. "Sorry, it's just Alice already called and asked me that this morning." I explained.

"Ah" He said understanding.

"Okay well I have to go. See you tonight. Love you. Bye." I hung up quickly and looked back at Angela.

"Sorry" I apologized.

She smiled. "Oh it's okay." She always got a kick out of me and Edward for some reason. I knew she wouldn't mind hearing us arguing playfully.

I laughed. "We better get back." She nodded and we walked back to work.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Bella!" Alice shouted excitedly as I walked into her apartment. I laughed at her enthusiasm, she was always so excited about everything.

"Hello Alice." I giggled as she threw her little arms around me.

Alice was about 4'10 she was the tiniest person I have ever met. She had short ink black spiky hair and was completely beautiful.

She pulled away and began bouncing in place. "Bell me and Rose are going shopping Sunday. You have to come."

I rolled my eyes. I knew I wasn't going to be able to get out of this.

"Fine." I grumbled.

She giggled and clapped her hands. I shook my head in disbelief at how excited she always is. After twelve years you would think I would be used to it. Yet she still surprised me.

I walked past her and into her kitchen. Rose jumped out of her seat and ran to embrace me.

"Hey Rose." I said hugging her tightly.

She pulled back and smiled. "Hi Bell. You look amazing." She said sitting back down.

I smiled. "Thanks Rose. You too." Which was completely true, considering she always looks amazing.

She had golden blonde hair that hung down to her waist in waves, crystal blue eyes, and a body that any model would kill for. To say she was absolutely gorgeous would be an understatement.

"Bellarina!" A booming voice called from behind me. I laughed knowing exactly who it was.

I turned around slowly and was instantly scooped up in a huge hug.

"Em . . . can't . . . breathe." I managed to choke out.

He laughed his booming laugh and set me down. I smiled up at him.

Emmet was huge, in a muscular way. He was very intimidating if you didn't know him. But to us he was just a big teddy bear.

I walked further into the kitchen "Hey Jas." I greeted him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek as I passed him to the fridge.

"Hey Bells." He turned and smiled. He was cooking our dinner of course, me and him were the only ones who knew how to cook decently.

"Looks good." I told him, while walking back to sit next to Rose after grabbing a soda from the fridge.

"Thanks." He smiled proudly.

Jasper was Rosalie's twin, so like her he had golden blonde wavy hair and dusty blue eyes. He like every single one of my friends was good-looking, although not my personal type.

"Ed's not here?" I asked them.

We only called him Ed when he isn't around. He would flip out if he knew we called him that. He hated being call anything but his full name.

"He is on his way he just called." Alice said walking over to sit on the counter next to where Jasper was cooking, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

I had to smile at them. Alice and Jasper have been dating pretty much since 8th grade when we first met the Hales. They were absolutely perfect for each other.

Rose and Emmet also have been dating for years, not quite as long as Alice and Jasper. They got together freshman year, mostly because they were both stubborn and just liked to tease each other, so it took them longer to admit their feelings. But once the finally started dating, they couldn't have found a perfect match.

Just then Edwards's musical voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Hello?" He called out.

"In here." Alice called out and seconds later he was walking through the door.

He walked in and smiled. "Hey guys." He called out to the room.

He gave Rose and quick hug and kiss on the cheek, then slammed fists with Emmet, and passed me up completely and walked towards the back of the kitchen to kiss Alice on the cheek and gave Jaspers shoulders a squeeze since he was facing the stove.

Saving me for last, he then walked over to me and gave me a hug before sitting in the chair next to me throwing his arm around my shoulder.

"Hey Bella." He said grinning smugly.

I just glared at him.

He laughed. "Still angry with me I see." He joked.

Everyone gave us curious looks. "Why is she mad at you?" Emmet asked.

I tore my eyes away from him and looked towards everyone else.

"Someone made me late for work today." I said turning back to Edward fake glaring at him again.

He laughed silently. "How did he do that?" Alice asked.

"Well let's see," I said sarcastically only making Edward laugh more. "He came over at 2 in the morning, and then refused to let me sleep." I spit at him.

"I thought we got passed this earlier. I apologized and you forgave me." He reminded me. Everyone snickered silently. They were used to our little pointless bantering.

"Oh yeah." I said pretending to just remember. He laughed and pulled me closer and kissed my hair. Everyone else just rolled their eyes.

"Dinner's ready." Jasper announced bringing in a plate full of chicken, Alice was right behind him with a bowl of salad.

They set it in the middle of the table before taking their seats.

"This looks amazing Jas." I complimented him.

"Thank you. Dig in guys."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Emmet said excited already taking three chickens off the plate and on to his own.

We all laughed at him and shook our heads, he will always be the same. But we wouldn't want him any other way.

We used to spend every waking minute together in high school and college, so once we all moved to different parts of Seattle we hardly saw each other. It bummed us all out so after a few weeks we decided every Friday we would have dinner together no matter what.

That was about two years ago and we have never missed one. It was a silly little tradition, and of course we saw each other more than just at dinner, but we enjoyed it.

"So did you get yelled at by your boss today?" Emmet asked me excitedly.

I had to laugh, "No she didn't notice." I told him, his face fell he looked very disappointed.

"Wait a minute." Edward spoke up. "You mean you didn't even get in trouble and you still were mad at me all day?" He whined and I couldn't help but laugh.

"That is so unfair." He pouted. Making everyone laugh, and for some reason me and Rose found this hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. Everyone looked at us like we were insane, which only made us laugh harder.

Once we calmed down I tried to explain, but I couldn't because it didn't make sense. Which made us laugh again, everyone else just laughed lightly at us and shook their heads.

That was the thing with us, we could act like total dorks and we didn't care. We have all known each other for so long that we could truly be ourselves around each other. Which is why we are such great friends, we only loved each other more for it.

We finished dinner and went into the living room to talk about our week. Alice of course had the place decorated beautifully. It was open and spacious, she had a couch, a loveseat and an arm chair, all white. Everything else fit in perfectly in different shades of cream and white.

Alice and Jasper cuddled on the love seat, while Rose sat on the couch with Emmet's head in her lap. Me and Edward shared the arm chair, which was plenty big enough for two, he had his arm around my shoulders casually.

We were watching TV when a commercial for Bring It On came on, announcing it was going to be on next weekend or something.

"Ooh! I love that movie." Alice squealed excitedly.

"Me too!" Me and Rose said at the same time, causing us to laugh.

We all looked at each other and knew exactly what we were all thinking.

"_I'm sexy. I'm cute. I'm popular to boot. I'm bitchin, great hair. They boys all love to stare." _We all sang in unison.

The boys groaned beside us. "That movie was torture." Edward said. I giggled rubbing his arm soothingly.

We had made them watch that over and over when it first came out. We were a tad obsessed.

"How do you guys do that?" Jasper asked clearly as annoyed as Edward with the movie.

"Do what?" I asked him.

"All start singing the same exact song at the same exact time, without saying anything." He looked truly confused.

All us girls shrugged and started laughing. "Women's intuition." Rose said making us all laugh more.

They just rolled their eyes and we began talking again.

"Alright I better get going." I said standing up it was a little past midnight, and I was beat.

"Yeah us too." Rose said standing up and pulling Emmet with him.

Alice stood up to walk us to the door. I walked over and gave Jasper a quick hug and started for the door.

Edward followed out behind us after we all gave Alice a hug goodnight.

I told Rose and Emmet goodbye at their car and walked towards mine. Edward followed me, he didn't like me walking in the dark alone. He has always been paranoid about that.

"So where are you going now?" He asked me. I turned around to look at him like he was crazy.

"To bed it's late." I said like it was the most obvious thing.

"It's only 12:30." He said seriously.

"Yeah well I didn't get much sleep last night." I said nudging him playfully.

He laughed and nodded.

"What about you?" I asked him, I couldn't help but be curious.

"I don't know I think I'm going to go out." He said nonchalantly.

Of course. I just rolled my eyes and opened my car door.

"Okay well have fun, and be safe." I told him pulling him in for a hug. He laughed in my ear causing his breath to hit my neck, making me shiver slightly.

"Yes mom." He said teasingly while pulling away. I smacked his chest and got in my car.

"Bye. Love you." He called out as I closed my door.

I waved and drove away. Not 2 minutes after I pulled away I got a text from none other than Edward. I rolled my eyes and flipped open my phone.

_Movie night tomorrow at your house? Please (=_

I laughed and texted him back telling him to come over at 7:00, I didn't want it to be too late because I had to go shopping with Alice and Rose the next day.

_Okay I will be there. Bye._

I got almost immediately back. Me and Edward spent the most time together with each other than anyone else. We have always been very close which in high school, and college drove his 'girlfriends' insane.

They all hated me because he spent more time with me than them, or was closer to me than them. It made me laugh because he never went out with any normal cool girls, he only dated sluts.

I drove into my parking spot and went upstairs and got ready for bed quickly. I was tiered, I didn't exactly stay up late.

I drifted into sleep quickly with only one thing on my mind, his face.

**So what to you think?**

**Please Review, and thank you for reading.**


	3. He can't do that

**A/N Thank you all so much for the reviews! Im so glad your liking the story=)**

**So here is the next chapter for you.**

**Enjoy!**

You're Not Sorry

Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning and couldn't help but be excited about mine and Edwards plans tonight. Of course we hung out all the time, I guess I just miss hanging out with just the two of us, and at a normal hour.

I have the day off today, which I was grateful for. I have been stressed out about a deadline this past week. I was having serious writers block, and not much time to get over it.

I was going to spend the day relaxing. Something I was in desperate need of.

After watching re-runs of Grey's Anatomy all morning in my pajamas, I decided to finally get dressed for the day. I took a quick shower and threw my hair up in a messy bun and threw on some sweats, knowing that I wasn't doing anything special today. Well besides hanging out with Edward, but we were just going to watch movies. No need to dress up. Right?

_That's what girls do. _

_They keep you guessing the whole day through._

I groaned, I really shouldn't have let my friends pick their own ringtones.

"Hello Alice." I flipped open my phone and answered.

"Bella! What are you doing tonight?" She asked rather bluntly.

I chuckled a little. "Actually Edward is coming over to watch movies." I tried to sat nonchalantly. Although knowing Alice, It wouldn't happen.

"What?! Am I hearing that you guys have a date?!" She asked excitedly.

"Alice! Of course not. You know we are just friends. We are just hanging out." I said hoping she would drop it.

No such luck. "Bella you and I know, that you and Edward will never be 'Just Friends'." I could practically hear the quotations in her words.

"Alice, and you and I both know. Me and Edward have never been anything more than just friends." I pointed out to her.

Pretty much everyone in our group was aware of my feeling for Edward. Well with the exception of Edward himself. So they constantly teased me about it, well Emmet did. Alice usually tried to play matchmaker, which she isn't subtle about I might add.

Whereas Rose and Jasper insist he feels the same way about me and I should just take a chance, and blah, blah, blah. They never told him about how I fell, which I could never be thankful enough for. I trust them fully.

"I know Bella. But still you guys are just so cute together, -"

"-Alice." I cut her off before she goes off into her own little dream land. "We are just friends. So drop it!" I spit out the last part, which immediately shut her up.

"Fine. We are still going shopping tomorrow right?" It sounded more like a demand than a question, but I was thankful for the change of subject.

I groaned. "I'm guessing no matter what I say, I'm not getting out this." I said in defeat.

She giggled. "Exactly!"

I had to laugh with her. There really is no point in arguing with Alice.

"Fine. What time?" I asked still not happy about shopping.

Not that I hated shopping per say its just shopping with Alice is a whole other story. Not to mention is ten times worse when Rose joins us.

Not only does Alice insist on making me try on everything in the store, literally. She can shop for hours, and I mean hours. I think once we actually shopped for 9 hours straight. I was exhausted and unbelievably grumpy. I vowed to never go shopping again, yet here I am going tomorrow.

I sighed, it is going to be a long day tomorrow.

"um. 9:00" Alice said quickly.

"What?! Alice the mall doesn't even open until 10:00. That's ridiculous." I said completely shocked.

Going an hour earlier than the mall opened was beyond me. What in the world would we do? Sit and wait for it to open? My gosh the mind of Alice Cullen. I shook my head to myself.

"Fine, 9:30" She said as if she was making a big compromise.

I rolled my eyes, even though she couldn't see me. "Alice no! No earlier than 10:00" I said in the most firm voice I could manage.

"Ugh. You are going to be the death of me Bella Swan. Fine! 10:00." She said irritated with me.

I laughed, she can be so dramatic sometimes. "Alice it is not going to kill you to not be at the mall _an hour before it opens_." I said sarcastically.

She finally giggled. "Okay you're right. But I'm serious, no later than 10:00." She warned.

"Okay, okay. I'll be ready at 10:00." I groaned.

"Okay. Love you. See you in the morning." Her voice rang out from the other side of the phone.

I smiled. "Okay. Love you too." And with that we hung up.

Not two seconds after I hung up with Alice, I got a text message. _From Edward_, It read.

_Hey Bella! We are still on for tonight right?_

I couldn't help but smile at his message. Gosh you think I would be used to him after 12 years. Apparently not.

_Of course=) See you at 7!_

I answered back quickly. I than decided to go to the grocery store to get some movie snacks for tonight. Me and Edward are both like, incapable of watching a movie without a snack. It was kind of weird but it's always been that way.

I threw in a bunch of things I knew me and him both liked and rented a few movies while I was out, considering we have pretty much watched every movie I own. At least twice.

I got home and realized it was already 6:00. I quickly fixed my hair and but on some slight make-up. Yes I know, I'm pathetic. I straightened up my living room, although Edward has been here plenty of times while it was messy. But still I just needed something to keep me distracted.

7:30 Rolled around and Edward hadn't showed up. I was slightly irritated but figured I would give him until 8:00 before I freaked out.

8:00 came around, still no Edward, than 8:30, and nothing. Not even a call or text.

I was mad, beyond mad. But then I started to panic, what if something happened to him, maybe he was hurt, or something with his family.

Before I could let my mind get to farfetched I got a text from none other than Edward.

_Hey Sorry Bell. I can't make it tonight. I met this one girl at Skids and completely lost track of the time. Call me tomorrow? Love ya bye._

Relief instantly flooded me, soon to be replaced by anger. I was livid. He not only had me worried sick about him thinking he was dead on the side of the road somewhere. He ditched me for _another girl!_

Okay so I was a little jealous, but still beyond that, this was just plain rude. He was supposed to be here 2 hours ago and he barely texted me now!

I hadn't even realized I have been crying until I began to sob. Oh god, how pathetic am I. I am sitting here crying over a boy, who is out doing only god knows what with some girl he met at a bar. I was beyond pathetic.

I decided I needed comfort food, so I pulled out a carton of ice cream and cookie dough, and but in My Best Friend's Wedding, one of my all time favorite movies.

_All eyes on me in the center of the ring like a Circus._

_When I crack that whip-_

"Hey Rose." I tried to say normally, of course Rose seen right through it.

"Bells what's wrong?" Her voice was full of concern.

"Nothing Rose. What's up?" I tried to sound cheerful. And once again she saw through it.

"Edward didn't show huh? Oh Bella I am sorry. Are you okay? Do you want me and Em to go keep you company?" She fired one question after another.

Before I could answer any of them Emmet's booming voice came on the line.

"Bellarina! Are you okay? Want me to kick Edward's ass for you?" I had to laugh at that, the thought was very tempting.

I heard Rose laughing in the background and I realized I was on speaker.

"Tempting. But really guys I'm fine. You don't need to come over here. I'm going to be heading to bed early anyway. Shopping with Alice tomorrow, I will need all my energy." I said grasping anything for them to not come over. I really just wanted to be alone right now.

"Alright Bells. But if you need _anything at all _call me okay." Rose said still concerned.

"Okay I promise. And thank you guys. I love you both. Goodnight." I told them sincerely.

"Bell, don't mention it. I'm here, and don't forget it. We love you too."

"Night sister!" I heard Emmet boom from the background I had to laugh.

"Bye guys." I said still laughing, I have the best friends. Well the exception of _one _right now.

"Ugh!" I groaned throwing my phone on the floor, after seeing it was 9:30.

I decided just to go to sleep, no wanting to stay up any longer. Although I think I was secretly hoping Edward would show up.

I lay in bed for what seemed like hours not being able to fall asleep. I had too much on my mind. Which mostly consisted of anger towards a certain best friend of mine.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

I sat up quickly. I must have fallen asleep. I looked over at my clock.

3:24

What in the world? Who is knocking at my door at 3 in the morning? Are they insane?

Edward.

_Thump. THUMP. THUMP._

I groaned as realization hit me. I jumped out of bed and stomped to my door. I was mad at him before but waking me up was something you just don't do. Ask any of my friends. It's not pleasant.

I swung the door open roughly and sure enough. There stood Edward Cullen right in front of me, with his stupid crooked grin on his stupid face.

"What do you want!?" I spit out at him.

He was totally oblivious to my tone. "Hey Bella. What are you doing?" he asked casually.

Is he serious? "Considering its three in the morning, sleeping!" My voice dripping with sarcasm.

His face fell slightly."Bell I'm so sorry for canceling on tonight. Please forgive me. "He gave me his famous pout.

Well it wasn't going to get me this time. "It's fine. Goodnight." I said with no emotion in my voice trying to close the door quickly.

He stopped it with his hand and walked forward cupping my face with both of his hands. "Bella. Please, I am so so sorry. I'm a jerk okay. I'm sorry. I love you." He said, somewhat sincerely.

I sighed. "Its fine Edward. Now goodnight." I said backing away from him.

He just stood in my doorway frowning. "Alright I guess I'm going to go." He said sadly, dropping his head and walking down the hallway.

Guilt flooded me. "Edward wait. You can stay if you want." I said in defeat. It was late and I can tell he has been drinking. Better to have him here safe, even if I was unbelievable pissed at him.

His face lit up and he practically ran into my apartment. I rolled my eyes and closed the door behind him.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight." I said with no emotion in my voice. I walked into my room and didn't notice until I was getting into bed that Edward had followed and was getting into the other side as well.

I am way to tiered to even argue I just sighed and scooted as far as possible from him.

"Night Bella." He said cheerfully.

"Night." I grunted back shortly.

After a few moments of silence I heard him sigh loudly.

I rolled my eyes, irritated more than humanly possible. "What is it Edward?" I asked not masking my annoyance one bit.

"I'm just so lonely over here by myself." He whined, I could practically hear the pout in his voice.

I am so not in the mood for him to try and be cute or whatever and three in the freaking morning.

"Yeah. Well maybe you should have stayed with that girl then." I said coolly, although you could hear the distaste in my voice.

"Bella." His voice was suddenly serious. I rolled over to finally look at him. "I am truly so sorry. Please forgive me. Please." His eyes pleaded with me.

He was actually sincere, compared to earlier. I sighed. "Its fine Edward." I smiled at him to show I meant it.

He beamed his beautiful smile back and I rolled back around praying to finally be able to get some sleep.

"Bella. . ." his voice whined.

"Ugh!' I grunted and rolled around to snuggle in his open arms. "You are such a baby!" I said while he wrapped his arms around me with a huge grin on his face.

I swear he is going to be the death of me.

"Bell I truly am sorry. You do know you are _the _most important girl in my life right?" His voice serious again.

"Yes Edward." I whined , I was so tired at this point I didn't even care anymore. "I said it was fine. Now let's just go to bed. Please." I pleaded with him.

"But it's not fine Bell." He said trying to continue this serious conversation. Honestly I mean its almost 4 now. This boy is absurd. How the hell is he still so wide awake?

"Edward please can we talk about this tomorrow?" I practically begged him. I was desperate for him to just _shut up_.

He chuckled silently and kissed my hair. "Alright. Goodnight my Bella." He whispered.

I mumbled something intelligible and was asleep in a matter of seconds.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of my alarm. I rolled over to see Edward sleeping peacefully next to me. All of last night's events came flooding back to me. I glared at Edward for a moment longer before taking a shower.

I was still incredibly annoyed with him right now, but I can't stay mad him for too long. I have never been able too. I got ready and dressed quickly knowing that Alice will probably be early.

After I was fully dressed I left the bathroom to find Edward cooking breakfast.

"Good morning gorgeous. Sleep okay last night?" He smiled his crooked grin at me.

I gave him a sarcastic look and sat down on my stool. "Yeah just peachy." I said irritated.

He chuckled and handed me a plate full of pancakes.

"So where are you going this morning." He was still cheerful as ever like he didn't wake me up at 3 in the morning after ditching me for some other girl.

I gave him a tight smile and took the plate. "I'm going shopping with Alice and Rosalie."

"Ah that should be fun." He said sarcastically, he knows how much I hate shopping.

I scowled at him and continued to eat my pancakes. Which I have to admit, are delicious.

He sighed. "Okay Bella I'm sorry. I know you're still upset with me so don't just say it's fine." He said, finally dropping his act.

"No not upset, just immensely irritated." I said with no emotion.

He frowned. "Okay I am truly sorry. What can I say to make this better?" He asked with a hopeful smile.

"What do you mean? There isn't like a certain apology I'm waiting for to make me not irritated." I said looking at him like he was stupid.

"Bell. You know what I mean." He groaned.

"No Edward there isn't. I'm not mad so don't worry. Just let me be for awhile. My irritation with you will pass." I said jokingly.

He smiled, knowing he was forgiven. "Okay. I am very sorry, I love you." He said coming up to kiss my forehead. "I will see you later okay." And with that he was out the door.

I just rolled my eyes. I wish I could actually stay mad at him, but his stupid little pout of his gets me every time.

Just then I heard a honk. I glanced at the clock. 9:45. I rolled my eyes, she was early. Of course. I quickly rinsed off my dish and ran out to Alice's car, knowing she isn't the most patient person.

"Hey Bella." Rose and Alice said in unison. I laughed slightly.

"Hey guys." I jumped in the back seat and we were off.

"So have you talked to Edward?" Rose asked in have you kicked his ass yet kind of way.

"Wait why? What happened with Edward?"Alice asked quickly, clearly not happy about being out of the loop.

Rose quickly explained our phone call last night before I had the chance.

"Ugh what an ass." Alice said, not happy with her brother at the moment.

"Oh yeah well it gets better." I said sarcastically. They both immediately turned to look at me to say continue. "Well I went to sleep after we talked and guess who showed up at my door at 3 in the morning?" I asked them in an obvious tone.

"No." They both said in shock.

"Oh yeah, drunk I might add." I said , irritation think in my voice.

"Oh my god, what did you do?" Alice asked still in shock.

"He apologized blah, blah, and then I sent him away. But I felt bad and worried because he was drinking so I let him stay." I explained.

"Bella you didn't? Why would you let him stay?" Rose asked, obviously not happy with my decision.

"He was drinking what was I supposed to do let him wander the streets in the middle of the night?" I argued.

They both nodded agreeing I was right.

We go to the mall, which just barely opened I might add. Alice of course went into shopping mode, and was all business. Me and Rose just followed along slowly as she literally ran from store to store.

"Alice we have like 10 hours till the mall closes. I think you can slow down." I told his jokingly.

She stuck her tongue out at me and continued running to every store. Me and Rose looked at each other and laughed. There was no stopping her now.

Once more people go there she calmed down, sum. And they began to interrogate me about Edward again. I filled them in on all the details last night, which they weren't happy about.

"Bell, I know you won't listen to me, but." Rose paused to look at me to make sure I was listening. "You can't let him do that to you. It's wrong and he needs to know that." She told me sternly.

"Guys he didn't do anything that bad technically. I mean it's not like I'm his girlfriend. Plus he knows he was wrong, he apologized countless times." I defended him. I'm not sure why though?

"Bells Rose is right. He always does this to you, this isn't the first time." Alice told me with so much concern.

"Honestly it's fine. He is my best friend I can't just give him up because he sometimes cancels are plans." I told them.

They just nodded but looked at each other, silently communicating.

"Alright I know you want to say something, just lay it on me." I said throwing my hands up in the air.

"Bell it's just we know you aren't _just friends _with Edward," She started out carefully. "So it's not okay. I think you should tell him how you fe-"I cut her off.

"No way. I don't think so. What if he doesn't feel the same way it would totally ruin our friendship. I care about him too much to lose him completely." I have given them this excuse so many times.

"Okay we get it." Rose said quietly, and with that the subject was dropped.

Thank goodness for that. I know they only care about me but this is just too complicated. Me and Edward have a good relationship now, maybe not the one I would personally want but I don't want to ruin it.

Like I said, I love him too much to risk it.

**Thanks for reading.**

**Let me know what you think. Please Review!**


	4. I have waited for this

**A/N I can't thank you guys enough for all you amazing reviews. You guys are awesome(= **

**So here is the next chapter. I hope you like it.**

You're Not Sorry

Chapter 3

I got home after 5 hours of shopping, yes 5. I was completely exhausted. I went into my apartment with my 20 bags, and flopped on my couch, too tired to even move.

My door cracked open so I sit up to look behind the couch and I see a box of Ding-Dongs sticking through the crack. I giggled silently and shook my head.

"Peace." A velvet voice called from the other side I laughed louder now as he slowly stuck his head through with a timid expression.

Once he saw me smiling he relaxed and beamed his beautiful crooked grin back. I got up and he pulled me into a hug.

"Am I forgiven?" He asked like a little kid who got in trouble.

"Yes you are forgiven." I told him and he pulled me into another and tighter hug.

"Hey I'm only forgiving because you brought Ding-Dongs." I joked, and he rolled his eyes.

"I should have known." We both laughed and from the minute on we were back to normal.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt._

_So sexy it hurts._

I groaned and picked up my phone from my nightstand. I hated waking up to that song.

"Hello." I said my voice thick from sleep.

"Well good morning sunshine." He chuckled.

"Yes I'm grumpy. What do you want?" I asked irritated. I mean not only do you not wake me up, but you don't wake me up then tease me.

"What are we doing tonight?" He asked nonchalantly despite my mood. Since our fight last Saturday, we have been pretty much hanging out every minute we weren't working.

It has become a regular routine now, we would go to work, he would come over and we would hang out all night. He stopped going out, which I am so unbelievably grateful for. To say that this last week has been great would be an understatement.

"We have dinner at Rose and Emmet's." I reminded him. It was Friday and our weekly dinner was at their house tonight.

"Oh yeah! Oops I forgot. Okay well I will pick you up at 6?" He asked me.

"You know I am more than capable to drive myself." I hated when guys assumed because you're a girl that you're helpless.

"I know Bella. But what if I want to drive you?" He asked in his stupid sexy, half flirty half teasing voice.

"Fine, I guess that would be okay?" I said dramatically.

He chuckled, "Okay see you later love you." And with that he hung up.

I lay back on my bed and couldn't help the big grin that spread across my face. I loved being so close to Edward, hanging out with him every day, calling each other all the time. It was so nice. It felt right. Of course we are just friends still, but the more I hang out with him the more it seems like maybe, just maybe he likes me too.

Of course this is just me dreaming, of course he doesn't like me more than a friend, I just hope.

I sighed and decided I should probably get ready for work. Work has been going great, a new girl started and we instantly became friends. She was also awesome at her job, and helped out a lot.

I took a longer shower than usual, I had more time because of a phone call that woke me up a half hour early. Once I got out I decided to wear some of the new work clothes I bought Saturday. Plus I would see Alice tonight and she would probably kill me if I wasn't in something new.

Once I was dressed and ready I headed out to work slightly early but I will just stop and by some coffee.

I stopped at Starbucks and ordered a vanilla latte and was headed out. I turned around after thanking the cashier and bumped into something hard and was ready to fall backwards. But two strong arms caught me instead.

My coffee miraculously didn't spill anywhere, I was shocked. "Oh I am so sorry." I began to apologize and I looked up into the brightest blue eyes I've ever seen.

I blushed and backed up, "I'm sorry. I was in a hurry." I tried to explain.

"No don't worry about it." He said coolly. I smiled and finally got a good look at him.

He was blonde and tall and muscular. Not as much as Emmet but more so than Edward. He had beautiful eyes and his hair slightly fell into them as he talked.

"Thank you. Um I'm Bella." I said shyly extending my hand out to him.

He took it and smiled, a gorgeous perfectly straight smile, "Julian"

I blushed at his tough and quickly pulled away. "Well it was nice to meet you. I have to get going bye." I told him quickly and rushed as fast as possible, without falling again.

I was late, how is it that when I am early I end up late. I rolled my eyes and walked into the building. "Hey Bells." Angela called as I walked by her office. I waved and continued walking.

I almost ran into Tanya, the new girl but stopped just in time. "Oh hey." She said a little shocked.

I smiled. "Hey Tanya." I said sweetly and walked towards my office.

Lunch rolled around quickly and me and Angela decided to invite Tanya with us today. We all were walking to the same café me and Angela ate almost every day.

"So Tanya you said you moved here from Alaska?" I asked as we got settled.

She nodded. "Yeah I moved with my brother. We both wanted a change." She explained.

Tanya was gorgeous, she was tall and had waist long strawberry blonde curls, her eyes were electric blue and she had a body, almost as perfect as Rosalie's.

I smiled. "Oh that's great you had someone to come with. Are you and your brother close?" I asked truly curious. I always wished I had a sibling, especially a brother.

"Yeah we are, he is older so he is a tad overprotective, but I am with him as well. So it works." She laughed and it was contagious. I laughed along with her.

"I always wished I had a brother or a sister actually." I admitted.

"Oh please Bella what do you call Emmet than?" Angela asked and I had to laugh. She was right.

Emmet was the big overprotective brother I never had, Rose was my feisty big sister. Alice was my a little over excited little bubbly sister, Jasper was my cool collective older brother as well, and Edward was well, Edward.

"Okay I guess my friends do act like y brothers and sisters." I told her and Angela smiled.

"Oh it sounds like you guys are really close." Tanya commented.

I nodded. "Yeah we have all been friends since we were about 10. There like my family." I said with a small smile.

"That sounds great. I bet there amazing." She said smiling. I nodded immediately.

"They really are. We are all so completely different I have no idea how we get along." I said with a laugh, thinking about all out different personalities.

She and Angela laughed with me. "You will have to meet them sometime." I told her.

She beamed her perfect smile. "I would love to."

The rest of the day flew by and with talking about my friends I was excited for tonight. I missed them, I've only hung out with Edward this past week.

I went home quickly and decided to change in one of the outfits Alice bought me last weekend. I tried to fix my hair the best I could and put on a little bit of makeup.

"Bella? You ready?" A velvet voice called. I smiled and walked out to meet a perfect looking Edward standing in the middle of my living room.

"Hey you look gorgeous as always." I blushed of course and he came and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"You don't look so bad yourself." I told him and he winked.

"Come, on we are late." He said pushing me out the door.

"Wait, I need my purse." I told him while trying to go around him.

He rolled his eyes, "just start going and I will get it okay?" He said.

I nodded and started out the door. I walked up to his silver Volvo. His baby as he once put it. Right as I was about to open the door Edward was there opening it for me while handing me my purse.

"Thank you that was fast." I said as I sat down.

He just smiled and jogged over to his side and started the car.

"We really aren't that late are we?" I asked because I was a little surprised and amused by his speed with everything.

"Yes we are my Bella because you took so long to get ready." He said simply.

"I was done as soon as you got there so don't give me that Cullen." I scolded him and he chuckled.

"Okay fine it wasn't your fault." He said but still looking like he really thought it was my fault.

"I was ready!" I argued, not quite ready to drop this yet.

"Okay Bell it was my fault, even thought it was yours." He added quickly.

I rolled my eyes, deciding it's not worth it because I will never win. I crossed my arms and pouted.

"It's okay Bell, because you look stunning, so it was worth being late." He said sweetly and I blushed five shades of red.

He smiled and took my hand in his and continue driving. I was slightly confused by this gesture, not that I minded. It's just we usually don't do stuff like this.

We got to Rose and Emmet's only five minutes late, which I pointed out to him and that he was just being ridiculous and he just smiled and led me into their little home. Not letting go of my hand the entire way.

"Hey guys!" They all called out at the same time. I smiled and was immediately scooped up in one of Emmet's bear hugs.

"Hi Em" I choked out, while he laughed.

"Buddha Bella!" He boomed and put me down.

I was then hit with something hard and little. "Bella! I missed you!" Alice had her entire body wrapped around me. I laughed.

"Alice you act like I haven't seen you in months." I said as she jumped off me and pouted.

"But I miss you also." I added in and she immediately perked up.

"I love your outfit." She said with approval.

"Alice you picked it out." I told her.

She laughed. "I know. Why do you think I love it" She said as if it were the most obvious thing. Everyone joined in with our laughter at her comment.

I finally made my way over to Rose and gave her a big hug.

"Why were you and Edward holding hands?" She whispered suggestively in my ear.

"Nothing, he just helped me out of the car." I whispered back, but I wondered the exact same thing. Why were me and Edward holding hands?

She pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "Uhhuh" She said, obviously unconvinced.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to Jasper and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. We all then went into the dining room and set the table and food up for dinner.

I was sitting in between Edward and Alice and Rose was in between Emmet and Jas on the other side. Rose had managed to actually cook a pretty good meal.

"Rose I'm impressed." I told her half way through our meal.

She smiled appreciatively and Jasper nodded in agreement.

"Thanks guys."

I was then talking to Alice about some shopping story or something and was laughing because of how excited she was.

"Oh Bella." Edward called.

I turned to look at him and just as I did I had mashed potatoes sliding down my face. He had a huge smug grin on his face.

I narrowed my eyes at him as everyone laughed.

"Oh you really shouldn't have done that." I warned and he just gave me a what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it look.

I then quickly flicked mashed potatoes in his hair, and ran my hand through it to make sure it was deep in there. He was strangely proud of his hair, I knew this would make him angry.

"You're gonna get it now." He said and I immediately got up and ran for the fridge. But he being faster than me reached it first. He pulled me back and grabbed chocolate syrup.

He held it up like a gun ready to shoot. I backed up as he slowly walked forward.

"Edward don't please." I pleaded with him. He just shook his head and continued to back me up in to a corner.

"Alice!" I called and she jumped on his back spraying whip cream, which came out of nowhere, all over him he turned around and started squirting chocolate all over both of us. Rose tossed me the strawberry syrup and we all three went at it.

Once all of our weapons were out, the kitchen and ourselves were covered in whip cream and syrup. I was on the floor I guess I slipped sometime during out fight, Alice was on top of the counter ready to pounce on Edward, and he was in the middle holding up his hands to show he was out.

We quickly got out of our battle positions and looked around us. Rose, Emmet and Jasper we still sitting in their seats with shock and amused expressions. The kitchen was covered in dessert topping as were we.

We all started laughing at what just happened. I apologized to Emmet and Rose considering we destroyed their kitchen. And we all started to clean up.

Me, Alice and Edward took turns showering and got cleaned up. Once everything and everyone was cleaned up we retreated to the living room to watch a movie.

The boys picked out Transformers, and I knew I would be asleep by the half. I was starting to drift off and Edward who was sitting next to me could tell.

Just as I was about fall asleep Edward jumped on me and started tickling me. I am extremely ticklish which he knows.

"Edwa . . .ah. . .Stop. . .Edw. . ." I was laughing so hard he was straddling me so I couldn't move.

He was now laughing to and his tickles were less and less, he finally stopped and rolled over causing him to fall of the couch. I was laughing so hard I was crying as was he.

We calmed down and I looked around us, they had paused the movie and were all just staring at us with blank expressions. Edward finally sat up from the floor and looked to see why I had stopped laughing. He looked around at all of our friends faces.

We all just stared in silence for a few more seconds before all six of us burst into laughter. Once we all calmed down again we decided the movie was a lost cause and me and Edward decided to leave since I was tiered.

On our drive home we talked and laughed and sang along with the radio. I couldn't help but think this is how it ought to be. It's just so easy, it feels, right.

We got my apartment and he came in as always, we spent at least another hour talking about everything and anything on my couch for what seemed like hours.

I became sleepy and he noticed so he pulled me into his chest while he laid back on the couch. I willing snuggled up to him and relaxed in his arms.

"I love you Bella." He whispered.

"I love you too Edward." I told him still a little confused.

I looked up into his eyes to see if I could read any emotion in them. Before I could study them any further he lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine. I was shocked so it took me a minute to respond.

Then it hit me Edward Cullen is kissing me, me! I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. Our bodies molded together, I was as close I could possibly get yet it wasn't enough.

He pulled back much too soon and place his forehead on mine. Both our breathing ragged as we just stared into each other's eyes.

"I've wanted to do that for so long." I admitted.

He smiled and kissed my forehead gently, and then lied back down pulling me back into his chest.

My heart was soaring, this is what I have wanted for the past 12 years, it was perfect. I drifted into sleep listening to the beating of his heart.

**Edward Pov**

I lay here in _her_ apartment with _her_ in my arms. I look down at the beautiful women in my arms, and can't help the smile that spreads across my face.

Then it hit me. I can't do this. She had said she wanted to kiss me for so long. Does that mean she had liked me for a long time? I can't do this to her. I need to get out before it goes too far.

I slowly maneuvered my way out of her hold so she wouldn't wake up. I quietly and quickly walked to the door when I heard her voice.

"Edward"

I froze. Did she wake up? I slowly walked back and realized she was still asleep. She smiled and said my name once again. I can't describe how I felt it broke my heart. I had to get out. I can't do this to her. I kept repeating to myself.

I left a quick note and left. I had to get out. I can't do this to her.

**Thank you for reading. Please review. **


	5. Knowing isn't always better

**Sorry this chapter took so long. I hope you like it.**

Your Not Sorry

Chapter 4

**Bella's POV**

I woke up the next morning and rolled over to find the spot next to me empty. I looked around the apartment, empty.

"Edward." I called out. No answer. I then spotted a small piece of paper on the coffee table and picked it up quickly.

_Had to work early. Sorry. -Edward._

I sighed slightly bummed. I wanted to spend the day with Edward, and he usually never works on Saturdays? Wiered.

I got up and took a quick shower, I had this Saturday off again, so I was just going to lounge around today. I was watching some talk show on T.V. when I finally gave in and called Edward.

I dialed that familiar number and waited for his velvet voice on the other end. "Hey this is Edward leave me a message-" I got his answering machine.

I closed the phone and continued watching T.V. trying to distract myself.

_Cause that's what girl's do._

_They keep you guessing the whole day through._

I sighed slightly sad it wasn't Edwards ringtone but answered anyway.

"Hey Ali." I answered.

"Bella what happened last night?" She asked panicked.

How did she always know when something big happened. I swear that pixie can tell the future. But why was she so freaked?

"What do you mean Alice?" I asked her.

"Well I got a call from Jas this morning I guess Edward went over there at like 3 in the morning totally freaked out." Alice said quickly.

"Edaward was here last night." I said confused.

"Are you sure. Jas said he was drunk and rambling about you and not making any sense, What happened after you two left?" She finally asked.

I sighed more confused now, I should probably tell her anyway." Well Edward came up with me he told me he loved me which I didn't find wiered cause I mean we always say we love eachother, but something was different."

"Uhuh." Alice agged on getting more intrigued by the minute.

"Then he kissed me." Then there was her high pitch squeal I was hoping to avoid. I pulled the phone away from my ear.

"Wait." The squeal came to a quick stop."Then why did he go to Jas' last night? Wouldn't he stay with Bella?" She was asking herself. "Okay Bell what happened after that?" She finally asked.

"Well I told him I have wanted to do that for a long time then I fell asleep in his arms." I finished.

"But that still doesn't explain why he was at Jas' wait was he still there this morning?"

"No he left a note saying he had to work." I told her confused by why this is such a big deal.

"No he don't have work, he is at Jas' still asleep. And plus he don't work Saturdays." Thats what I thought.

"Have you talked to him today?" Alice asked in a concerend voice.

"I called but he didn't answer. Why?" I was so confused.

"Bell." She said in a carful voice. Then it hit me.

He regrets kissing me. He left cause I freaked him out and went and got drunk. Now he is ignoring my phone calls and are friendship is ruined.

"NO!" I finally said into the phone, knowing Alice already figured it out.

"Calm down Bella, we don't know that that is it. I will be there in 5 minutes, just don't freak yourself out okay?" She knows I get nervous and over think everything.

"Okay." I whispered, still trying to process the last 24 hours.

"Okay see you in a minute." She hung up.

I sat there still frozen, I knew this is what would happen. But he kissed me first. Then I told him I have wanted to do that for a long time. Crap! That probably freaked him out. Ugh what am I going to do. He is my best friend.

Not even 5 minutes later Alice and Rose burst through my door.

"My gosh did you go 100 the whole way here?" I asked them trying to act like I was okay.

"Bella has he called?" Alice asked quickly. I shook my head and she sighed.

I should have known she would bring Rose for backup, just in case we needed someone to kick his ass.

"Okay I am going to call him and ask why he was at Jaspers. K? Both of you stay quiet." She told me and Rose and we both nodded.

She dialed his number and put in on speaker. No answer.

So she left a message.

"Edward Anthony Cullen answer your phone right now, or I will personally go kick your ass. Got it. I am giving you 5 minutes." She slammed the phone shut and me and Rose burst out in laughter.

The thought of little 4'10 Alice kicking 6'0 Edwards ass was comical.

"Oh I can do it." She told us seriously. That only made us laugh harder.

Then her phone rang and she looked at her screen. Edward. He called her back, she smiled victoriously and opened and quickly put it on speaker.

"Hey Alice, what is so important?" He asked sounding bored.

"Oh don't act all innocent, why did you go drunk over to Jas' last night?" She asked him accusingly.

"I don't remember. I was drunk." He said as if she was stupid. Me and Rose laughed as silently as possible. Alice hit both of our heads and continued to question Edward.

"Okay then why did I get a call from Bella." She said again in a accusatory voice,

He was silent. There it was. She hit a nerve.

"Answer the question Edward.' She said in the same tone.

We heard a sigh. "Alice I don't want to talk about it." He said sadly.

Rose, Alice, and I looked at eachother confused, and shrugged. "Why what happened?" Alice asked him in a slighlty softer tone.

"I'm sure she told you I kissed her right?" He asked. Alice looked at me and I shrugged letting her know she can say yes.

"Yeah, and that you left sometime last night, which I assume is when you got drunk and went to Jaspers? She asked.

"Yeah." He said in defeat.

"Why?"Alice asked him.

"Because I love her Alice." He said in exasperation like he was holding in a deep breath.

"So why wouldn't you stay with her then? You know she feels the same way." Alice told him. I slapped her arm. We didn't know he knew that for sure.

"No Alice I don't love her like that. I know how she feels, Now." He added on quickly. "Thats why I couldn't stay there. I got caught up in the moment when I kissed her, It was a mistake, and then when I saw how much it ment to her I felt awful." Alice and Rose were wathcing me through his whole explanation.

"I love her so much and I don't want to hurt her. She is my best friend." He finally finished.

"And you don't think this is hurting her Edward." Alice asked him softly.

He sighed again. "I know and I feel awful, why do you think I got drunk. I don't know what to do." He said sadly.

"Edward you are her best friend too. Explain it to her. She loves you, she will understand. Just don't avoid her." Alice advised him.

She knew as much as I did that I would forgive him. No matter what.

"Your right. I'll call her. Thanks Alice." He said and hung up.

I finally let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and Alice and Rose just watched me in silence.

Slowly tears began to fall down my cheeks without me even noticing. Alice and Rose immediatly wrapped me in a hug.

_I'm to sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt._

_So sexy it hurts._

Edwards ringtone went off. I looked and it then back at Alice and Rose.

"I can't listen to his explantion twice." I told them softly.

"Bell if you want to still be friends you're going to have to." Rose told me gently.

I took a deep breath and answer my phone. I will do this for our friendship.

"Hello" I answered trying to sound normal.

"Hey Bell. Um we need to talk." Edward said sounding nervous.

"Um yeah we do." I said back.

"Uh do you want me to come over, or is over the phone okay?" Edward asked.

I panicked. "Over the phone is fine." I said quickly. There is no way I can do this in person.

"Okay um about last night." He started.

"Edward don't worry about., we jus got caught up in the moment. It didn't mean anything." I said quickly.

"Um yeah. Are you sure Bella?" He said sounding unsure.

"Yeah it's fine." I said a little to quickly.

"Bella, really I mean last night you said-" I cut him off.

"Honestly Edward, it was a mistake. I just was confused I guess." I tried to explain.

"Okay good. Um so were okay?" He asked akwardly.

"Yeah fine. But I have somone on my other line. . "I trailed off.

"Yeah okay. Um I'm sorry Bells." He said before hanging up.

I hung up and sighed. Alice and Rose hugged me and I cried in there arms for hours.

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The next week was awful. I was sad and upset, thinking Edward would reject me and Edward actually rejecting me was a different story. I felt broken, and lost, I not only lost my crush of 12 years, I lost my best friend.

Whenever me and Edward talked it was akward. I at first ignored his phone calls, until he came over and called me out on it. I blamed it on being busy, which we both knew was a cope out, but he bought it anyway.

So we hung out and it was wiered, it wasn't natural like it used to be. We weren't sure how to act around eachother now. Even the simplest of touches caused us to blush and mumble an apology.

It was extremely irritating. Now we have our dinner tonight at Alice's house again. Technically it was my turn but I wasn't exactly in the hosting mood.

I sighed and walked into my office bumping something or someone hard.

I heard a laugh. "We have to stop meeting like this." The voice said sounding amused.

I looked up and it was the handsome guy from starbucks last week. "Julian?" I asked suprised.

He laughed. "Bella. How are you?" He asked.

"Fine. um what are you doing here?" I asked him confused.

"Oh yeah. My sister works here." He said. "Oh there she is. She left her phone at home." He explained and out walked Tanya.

"Oh hey I see you two already met." Tanya said to me and Julian. Of course Julian would be gorgeous Tanya's brother. They're both stunningly good looking.

"Yes last week actually." Julian said smiling at me.

"It seems your friend Bella here is very clumsy." He teased, and I blushed about 5 shades of red.

Tanya laughed. "That she is."

"So Bella we would love to invite you to dinner tonight." Julian asked me out, sort of.

Tanya nodded in agreement.

"That would be great, but Shoot I can't I have dinner with my friends, . . But you know what you can come along if you like?" I asked, knowing Alice would love to have more company.

"Are you sure?" Tanya asked.

"Of course my friends will love you guys. Here let me right down the adress and it will be at 7." I said quickly jotting down Alice's address.

"So I will um, see you guys there." I said shyly walking towards my office.

"See you later." Julian called and I turned back looking just in time to catch his gorgeous grin.

I smiled and went throught the rest of the day in a daze. Maybe this getting over Edward stuff won't be so hard.

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I was walking up to the doorway when I heard my name. I turned around to see Tanya and Julian just getting here too.

"Hey guys. I'm glad you came." I said sincerly and gave them both a hug.

"Of course, I have heard so much about your friends I feel like I know them." Tanya teased.

We all laughed and walked into Alice's apartement.

"Bella!" 4 voices said in unison. I giggled and greeted and introduced them all to Tanya and Julian.

Tanya and Rose instantly hit it off and Julian seemed to get along great with Jasper. I was happy.

"So where is Edward?" Alice asked me.

"How would I know." I asked with a laugh.

She just shrugged. "He's always late, Im sure he will be here." I offered. She smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Bella." Julian called I walked over to sit with him on the arm chair.

"So Jasper here tells me I'm not the only one you bump into." He teased, making Jasper laugh.

I slapped both of there arms playfully. "That is not fair." I pouted making them laugh harder.

Julian casually wrapped his arm around my shoulder, but I didn't mind, at all. I felt safe and comfortable in his arms.

Then Edward walked in looking as gorgeous as ever and the hole that began to fix itseld today ripped right open again. He caught my eyes and quickly looked away. It broke my heart even more.

I snuggled more into Julian without even knowing it. He didn't seem to mind.

Edward greeted everyone and sat next to Jasper on the couch. "So who are the new editions." Edward joked, but not in a friendly tone.

Jasper noticed and looked at me suspiciously but I just shrugged and explained to him. "This is Julian, I work with Tanya his sister who is around here somwhere." I said looking around for her.

"Oh yeah I met her." He said cooley. "Pretty girl." He said nochalantly, a little to much. He was trying to get a reaction out of me.

"Yes she is." I agreed and turned back to the television.

He huffed and turned back himself. So is this how tonights going to be? This should get interesting.

We all sat around Alice's enormous table and were talking about last weeks food fight. Julian and Tanya laughed at our childish ways. They fit in pretty good with us, they are a lot of fun.

It was Alice, Me, Julian then Tanya, and on the other side it was Jasper, Edward, Emmet, then Rose.

So I was directly across from Edward. Joy.

Tanya was shamlessly flirting with Edward, who was flirting back slightly.

I couldn't help but be jealous, but I guess I should get used to it, Being friends and nothing more with Edward, flirting was just part of the package.

I sighed and ignored it the best I could and put my attention back on Julian. who is getting even sweeter with every word he says. Alice and Rose really like him too. It's nice to have there approval.

After dinner I was about to get settled into the couch when Edward caught my arm. I turned to look at him.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked softly. I just nodded and followed him into Alice's room.

I sat on her bed while he paced back and forth it front of it. "Okay so talk." I told him.

He looked at me and then began pacing again. "Honestly Edward it can't be that bad. I mean you already told me you don't have feelings for me. What can be worse than that." I tried to lighten up his mood, but my comment only seemed to make it worse.

His face was strained and he knelt in front of me taking my hands into his. "Bell I love you so much. You are my best friend. And I know last week really screwed us up and I know I hurt you and I am so unvelivably sorry." He started out.

He looked on the verge of tears, "Edward you really didn't hurt me. I'm okay." I told him gently.

I was lieing through my teeth of course but he didn't know that.

He rolled his eyes. "Bella I know you. I know I hurt you and I am so sorry. I never knew how you felt. I kissed you out of impulse, we werejust having so much fun that week and I don't know what came over me." His eyes begged me to understand.

I couldn't help but feel embarassed. He knows how I feel about him, this is what I wanted to avoid.

"You know me I am not the relationship type, so I just kissed you for fun. If I ever knew how you felt I would have never, ever done that to you. I love you so much I would never want to hurt you. I hope you know that." The last part came out as a whisper as he layed his forehead against mine.

I just nodded silently. He smiled. "Good, I just really want us to go back to normal."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I don't know what to do. Should I leave him behind and get over him, or accept his apology and get my best friend back.

"Bella?" He said laughing lightly.

I opened my eyes and he beamed his crooked smile. I can't give him up. I love him.

"Yeah normal." I agreed. He pulled me into a tight hug and I willingly hugged him back.

"God i've missed you." He whispered.

I laughed. "Me too."

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Me and Edward did go back to normal with one exception. Julian.

We had been getting closer, which drove Edward crazy. He hated having to share me, or so he claimed.

I don't know Julian is a good guy and I think I can really like him. He is sweet and caring and just a nice guy.

Just the whole getting over Edward thing could get complicated. Spending so much time with him wasn't helping my situatuion. But I could endure as long as I have my best friend back.

Edward is laying across my couch with his head in my lap. We were watching some stupid show he picked out when my phone beeped.

I looked at my phone i had gotten a text from Julian.

_Hey Bella. Would you like to go out with me tonight? Dinner and a movie?=)_

I smiled and closed my phone.

"Who was it?" Edward asked.

"A text from Julian." I answered still trying to decide what I want to tell him.

"Oh what does he want?" He pratically growled.

"Um. He just asked me out." I said quickly.

"What!?" He sat up quickly.

"What did you tell him?" He asked, well more like demanded.

"Nothing. I don't know what to do." I admitted.

"Do you like him?" He tried to hide his obvious dislike for the guy.

"Yeah I mean he is amazing. He is sweet and cute and caring-"

"Yeah I get it." He cut me off annoyed. "Well i think you can do better."

"Oh really like who?" I asked trying to think of someone better than Julian well other than the obvious.

"I don't know like me." He said shyly.

"Shut up." I hit him playfully. But then I seen he was serious.

"What Edward?" I asked him.

He took a deep breath. "Bella I think I made a mistake." He said softly.

"What are you talking about Edward." I asked confused as heck.

"Bella latley I have sort of been having feelings for you." He whispered so softly I couldn't be sure thats what he said.

"What?" I asked again even more confused now. "Edward you told everyone including me you had no feelings for me. Why all the sudden now. If this is because you don't like Julian that is just rude-"

He cut me off. "It's not because of Julian. Well I guess I did start feeling this way when I seen you with Julian." He admitted.

I groaned and got off the couch. "Edward what the hell." I told him.

"Bella it's not like that. I do have feelings for you."

"So what does this mean. Do you want to be together?" I asked trying to understand and where he is getting at.

"No I don't want a relationship." He said quickly.

"Ugh! Then why are you telling me this Edward. Just to hurt me. Well I have got news for you, you already did that." I shouted at him, he flinched at my words.

"Of course not Bella I never want to hurt you." He said firm but with sadness.

"Then what Edward?" I whispered.

"I don't know." He let out a frustrated sigh.

"Bella just don't go out with him please." He cupped my face with his hands and stared into my eyes.

"Why Edward give me one reason why?" I whispered.

"Because I don't want you to." He told me. I shook my head.

"Not good enough Edward."

"Because, because. . . you just can't" I stepped back and his hands fell.

"Edward, it's not enough." I whispered again shaking my head.

"You don't want me but you expect me to not date anyone else in the either?" I asked.

He just looked down guiltly. "But I do want you Bells." He said sincerly.

"Prove it." I challenged.

He stepped forward and pressed his lips to mine. I pulled back.

"No Edward, kissing me doesn't just make it better." I said angrly.

"I know I'm sorry." He apologized.

"Just please for me, don't go out with him." He whispered.

I sighed and stared into his eyes. I just put my head down and tried to figure out what I was going to do. I can't wait for him forever.

But you can for awhile. But you already have for so long. So then whats a little more time.

Great now my heads arguing with itself. He literally is driving me crazy.

"Okay." I whispered.

I looked up and he looked so relieved. "Thank you Bella. So much." He embraced me tightly and kissed my hair.

I sighed, I will always be waiting for Edward Cullen.

**Please review!**


	6. I'm done

**So here's the next chapter. I hope you like it.**

**Thank you all so much for your amazing reviews. I love you guys!**

**Now Enjoy=)**

Your Not Sorry

Chapter 5

I have been spending all of my time with Edward, which was great. We went back to being just friends. But we had an understanding I guess.

I don't know it is complicated it's like were together without the title. Which is incredibly stupid, but I will do it for him.

I declined Julian's offer without a real reason. He didn't need to know I was desperatly and hoplessly in love with Edward Cullen.

It was Friday thank god, and I had the weekend off. I arrived at work a little late and was rushing to get into my office before my boss noticed.

"Bella!?" A high voice called.

I turned around to see Tanya running to me excitedly.

"Bella I have such great news! I have a boyfriend!" She said in one breath.

"Oh thats great Tanya who-" She cut me off.

"Guess who it is? Your friend Edward." All the blood drained from my face. " He is so gorgeous and sweet oh and. . . " I went into shock.

Her voice trailed off. She is dating Edward. My Edward. What this makes no sense.

"Wait Tanya. How did this happen?" I tried to remain calm even though I was on the verge of a major breakdown.

"Oh yeah. Well we saw eachother at a club last night, and one thing led to another, well we will tell you the story tonight at dinner." She said so quickly I had to listen carefully to keep up.

"Wait your coming to dinner tonight?" I asked shocked. What does she think that she is jsut part of our group now?

"Yeah Edwards right? I will see you there. Bye." She chirped and skipped off.

I grabbed the door frame for support, I felt like my world was crashing down on me. How could he do this. What, it make no sense.

"Bella whats wrong?" Angela asked concerned. I probably looked like someone just died.

"Ill tell you later I need to call Alice." I said in a dead voice. I was numb, competely. I need to talk to Alice I have to.

I dialed her number quickly and she picked up after only 2 rings.

"Bella! Oh me and Rose are thinking about going-"

"Alice!" I cute her off.

"Bella whats wrong?" She immediatly picked up on my frantic state.

"Guess who Tanya's dating?" I asked sarcastiacally.

"Ohh who?" She asked in her gossip mode.

"Edward." Is all I said.

"WHAT!" She literally shouted into the phone.I had to hold it away from my ear.

"Your are kidding Bella right? I mean after what he said to you? No he wouldn't do that? No, no she is lying. No Edward. . ." She started rambling to herself.

"No Alice you heard right. Oh and she is coming to dinner tonight, She acted if like she is just apart of our weekly dinners now too. " I said angry, even though that was so beside the point right now.

"Ugh what a witch. Have you talked to Edward yet?"

"No what do I even say or ask. God Alice now I have to see them together tonight. Ugh, what do I do?" My voice sounded desperate.

"I can not believe him. After he told you not to date Julian, after he told you he didn't want a relationship." She spit out angrly at her brother.

"I know Alice, I know I am freaking out. What the hell do I do?"

"You sound actually okay compared to how I would think you would sound." She said slightly impressed.

"Oh thats only because I am at work, believe me it is taking everything I have to not scream right now." I admitted.

She laughed. "I bet everyone would get a kick out of that."

"Alice." I whined trying to get her back to the point.

"Oh right. Ohh I have and idea, take Julian tonight as your date and act like you don't even care." She said excitedly,

It did sound like a pretty good plan, But I sort of want to let him know how much he hurt me. "No I am going to make him feel like shit tonight, then I will date Julian and start flauting him." I giggled.

"Ohh thats better." She giggled with me. I think we are both going officially insane.

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I arrived at Edwards with knots in my stomach. I can do this, I can do this. Or so I kept telling myself.

I opened the door to a happy Tanya, "Bells hi!" She hugged me tightly.

Oh I was doing everything in my power to not just slap her right now.

"Hi Tanya," I said dryly.

I walked past her to see Alice and Jasper looking sympatheticly at me. I gave them a small smile and walked to the kitchen to see a very pissed of Rose and Emmet and a scared Edward.

"Hey guys." I greeted softly.

They all turned away from there stare down. "Hey Bell." They all said quickly.

Emmet immediatly wrapped me in the tightest hug ever followed by Rose who whispered. "Your strong, and beautiful. You can do this."

They knew. They knew about Tanya and that's why there glaring at Edward.

I just smiled and nodded. "Hey" I smiled slightly at Edward and gave him a hug like if nothing was wrong.

"Um Can I talk to you for a second Bella?" Edward asked. Just then Tanya walked in and skipped over to Edwards side.

"No I think you have said everything that you needed too." I said in a cold voice glancing at Tanya and then walking out of the kitchen.

Alice and Jasper took one look at my face and I was immediatly wrapped in hugs.

"Bells its okay." Alice kept whispering.

"I am seriously going to kick his ass." I had never seen Jasper so pissed off before. The fire in his eyes was frightening.

"Ill be back." He whispered walking off to the kitchen.

"Jasper no dont" I tried to stop him. He just waved me off and continued on his mission.

I looked at Alice panicked. "Don't worry Bell he wont hurt him." She reassured me.

I just nodded trusting Alice.

"Cullen!" We heard Jasper say in a hard voice.

Then they both entered the living room and walked to Edwards room and slammed the door.

Me and Alice creeped quietly towards the door so we could listen to what was going on.

"What in the hell are you doing!" Jasper asked him sternly.

"What do you mean?" Edward tried to sound innocent.

"Don't even. What the hell are you doing to Bella!" Jasper almost shouted. I have never ever seen him like this. He is always the calm rational one.

"What it's not like we were dating or anything." Edward tried to reason.

"Don't even say that. How dare you. She is your best friend Edward. You know this is killing her right?" Jasper spit at him again.

"Well she won't let me explain so I don't know what to do?" Edward said in a smug tone.

"No don't you dare go near her. You hear me. Leave her the hell alone. I have known you just as long as her but I have no problem kicking your ass for her." He said in a menecing voice.

Then the door opened and I was in tears. Jasper immediatly wrapped me in a hug and wipped away my tears.

"Bella" Edward whispered in a pained voice from behind us. He tried to reach out to me but Jasper gave him the back off look and Edward retreated to the kitchen.

"You okay?" Jasper asked.

I just nodded. "Thank you for that." I whispered.

"Of course Bella." He said sincerely and we walked to join the others.

"Foods done!" Tanya chirped from the kitchen. She then skipped over to Edward and gave him a kiss.

I cringed and everyone including Edward stared at me. "You know what I suddenly just lost my you'll excuse me." I said coldy and left his house as fast as I could.

"Bella wait!" Edward followed me out and grabbed me arm.

"I spun around on him. "What Edward. How are you gong to explain this. You wanted to hurt me is that it? Well guess what you succeded. Honestly just stay away from." I shouted and he just stood there stunned.

I slammed my car door and drove off leaving him there frozen, leaving him behind.

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It's been two weeks since my blow out on Edward. I haven't talked to him and only seen him on Fridays at dinner.

He and Tanya broke up about two days later, I knew it wouldn't last, but that wasn't the point. Everyone was mad at him for hurting me. They all love him still but are disappointed in him.

He stayws away and hasn't tried to call me much. Tanya still has no idea what happened that night or why me and Edward fought and is still friendly with me. I was more mad at Edward than her anyway.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt._

_So sexy it hurts._

Edwards ringtone? Why is he calling me?

I picked my phone up mostly out of curiosity than anything.

"Hello?" I answered coldly.

"Bella please don't hang up." His voice sounded broken and strained.

"What do you want Edward?" I asked harshly.

"Bella I am so so sorry. I love you so much. Only you. I screwed up. I made a mistake. Please Bella forgive me. I need you." He cried into the phone.

And even though I am angry with him I felt bad. He sounded so hurt and lost, my heart went out to him. Which I hated.

"Edward you did this." I whispered afraid my voice would break.

"I know Bella. I am the biggest idiot. I love you. You are my best friend, my life. Please just hear me out. Just give me one more chance, Please just one more." He whispered.

I felt myself wavering. No I can't he hurt me. But he does sound sincere. "Fine but you have to prove I can trust you before I forgive you." I told him.

"Oh thank you, thank you Bella. I am so sorry. I love you." He said gratfully.

My doorbell rang so I went to open it to find Edward right there in the flesh.

He looked awful, if thats even possible. His hair looked like he had run hid finger through it for days, his eyes had dark circles under his eyes and his clothes were rumpled.

I looked at him suprised and he just embraced me and cried into my shoulder. "I am so sorry Bell. So sorry." He just kept whispering.

We stood there for what seems like hours crying together and holding eachother.

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"Edward no." I crossed my arms and stood my ground,

"Bella please. I need to show you I can be trusted." He smiled crookedly at me.

"How is scaring me half to death going to make me trust you?" I challenged.

"Ill show you I will always protect you." He said so sweetly.

I felt myself begining to cave. "No Edward." I said again but a little less firmly.

"Bella Please, please." He pouted and that was it. I was a goner.

"Ugh fine." I gave in and he smiled triumphantly.

"Thank you My Bella." His kissed my forehead and bought our movie tickets for, a scary movie.

Edward has done everything in his power to make things better between us. I have forgave him a long time ago but I never told him. I liked the attention and seeing him squirm.

Everyone else is more reluctant to forgive him and chewed me out for taking him back. But I love him, I can't help it.

He has said true to his word and done everything perfectly. He is sweet and caring and around me constantly. I go home and he is there waiting for me.

Everyone tells me to keep my gaurd up because he could hurt me again but I don't think he will. I trust him I always have, Which is my one fault and weakness.

I made it throught the scary movie alive, barley. He knows how much I hate scary movies, i'm going to punish him for this one.

We are walking back to my apartment, then moonlight making his bronze hair shine and I can't help but hope it should always be like this.

Perfect.

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It has been 5 days today since Edward has called, or texted or even aknowleged my exsistence.

I mean it's not that big of a deal but I am freaking out. This wasn't our schedule. Where the hell is he?

My god Edward Cullen gives a whole new meaning to driving me crazy.

He doesn't answer my calls or texts, and tomorrow is our annual dinner and I don't even know what to expect.

Is he angry at me? Had he found someone new again. Ugh this is driving me insane.

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As I waited for everyone to arrive I couldn't help but angry. I still haven't heard from him and now i am just pissed.

He wants to make it up to me yet he ignores me. I am so sick of him and his games, I'm done.

I swear if he comes in her with his smug ass smile acting all normal I am going to slap him.

Okay so I'm being a little bit dramatic, but I am tired and frustrated with him, I'm just done.

I already told Rose and Alice who agreed whole heartedly with me. They thought I should have been done with him months ago.

Alice and Jasper where the first to arrive. I was nervous and angry all at the same time waiting for Edward to come.

Jasper could sense my anxiousness and put a gentle hand on my shoulder calming me almost immediatly.

We talked for awhile when soon Rose and Emmet arrived.

I couldn't help but wonder if Edward just wouldn't show up. I asked Alice and she said he called her this morning saying he was comming.

I sighed as we waited for Edward, Of course he was late. He is always late.

"Well I think we should just eat without him." I finally announced.

"Good with me." Emmet said excitedly.

Alice looked a little wary. " I don't know." She said softly.

"Come on Alice he will eat when he gets here." Rose offered.

"Okay." She agreed although she still looked unsure.

Just as we got up to eat in walked in the enfamous Edward Cullen.

"Eddie we were just about to eat without you." Emmet announced to him.

"Sorry I'm late." He said greeting everyone with a hug, including me.

I hugged him polietly but didn't offer any more. "Foods going to get cold guys." I said a little unpatient which of course didn't go unnoticed by Alice or her dear brother.

"So Bella what have you been up too. Feels like I haven't talked to you in forever." Edward asked trying to see if he can tell whats wrong with me.

"It's because we haven't." I answered coldly.

"Oh Bella has a date with Julian tomorrow!" Alice announced excitedly.

"What!?" Edwards eyes shot to mine.

"Yeah he asked me yesterday." I confirmed.

"Why?" Edward asked sharply.

"Because I have wanted to for a long time." My eyes narrowed slightly.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't" Hia voice sounded desperate

"Things change." I shrugged and took a bite of my spaghetti.

Everyones eyes were glued on our between the lines conversation. They were all totally confused.

"What changed?" He asked through his teeth.

I shot my head up and glared into his eyes. "You." I answered simply.

He flinched at the harshness of my words.

"If you'll excuse me I lost my appetite." I said standing up.

"Edward look at what you did now." Alice scolded standing up to come after me.

"No let me." I heard Edward say. Great. I tried to get to my room as quickly as possible but he caught up to me just in time.

"Bella." He called out but I still headed straight to my room but he followed me in and locked the door.

"Bell what the hell. Why are you dating Julian?" He demanded.

"Because I want to." I said sharply.

"I thought that you wern't going to?" He asked me narrowing his eyes.

"Things change Edward. And besides you dated Tanya so I thought our whole non dating thing was over." I shrugged and tried to leave the room,

His arm caught the door stopping me. "Bella I apologized for that. Please can't we get over it." He rolled his eyes like he was tired of me being upset about it.

"Don't even Edward. Plus I haven't even heard from you in a week. What the hell am I supposed to think." I threw my arms up in an exsagerated movement.

"Im sorry Bella I have been busy." He quickly looked down because he was lieing.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"Bella just please don't go out with him." He begged once again.

I shook my head "No Edward. This time I'm done."

"Bella what do you mean your done? Im sorry okay. Truely sorry." His face was so heartbreaking I almost gave in.

"Edward no I can't-" I was cut off by his lips on mine.

I pulled away quickly knowing if I didn't I would never be able too. "No Edward I'm done!"

"Im sorry. Bella." He reached towards me.

I stepped back shaking my head."Edward no. No your not. I can't do this anymore." I sighed and rang my hands through my hair pulling slightly

"Bella please. I'm sorry." Thats all he could say. He looked so innocet that if I didn't know him I would believe him. "Please listen to me." He whispered.

"No I can't. This is it, the last straw."

"What because I didn't call you for a few days Bella." He laughed slightly as if I was being absurd.

"Edward do you not understand how much I love you. I have loved you for _12 years. _And all you do is hurt me over and over again. I waited for you, after everyone told me you weren't worth it. I didn't care. I loved you." I smiled slightly with tears in my eyes.

"Bell I'm sorry I had no idea." He whispered.

"Exactly! You were to selfish to see what was right in front of your face. I made excuse after excuse for you. You have always used me and screwed me over but once you kissed me everything just turned to crap."

"I know I wish I never did that. Bella I am so sorry."

"Stop apologizing!"I snapped. "You don't mean it. You never did. I gave you chance after chance and all you do is let me down."

"Bella what do you want from me? I try and try and it's never good enough!" He shouted back.

"I want you to be the Edward Cullen I know and fell in love with. The Edward that would sing me to sleep when I was scared, the Edward who was there when I needed him, the Edward that told me I was it for him." Tears filled me eyes now at the memories of Me and Edward at 14.

"That Edward is long gone." He whispered coldly.

"Exactly why I'm done." I said back just as harshly.

We glared at eachother for a few more moments before he dropped his act. "Bella please. I need you don't do this.I'm sorry." He finally broke down.

"No your not. Your not sorry. Edward I love you I just don't want to hurt anymore. I waisted ten years of my life waiting for you. I won't waist anymore." I whispered coldly and with finality.

"Bell." He whispered with tears in his eyes now.

"Edward for as long as i've known you, you had this light about you that just made me love you all the more. But for the past month all iv'e seen is all of it fade. I finally got to know the real Edward Cullen. Not the one I made up perfectly in my head for 12 years. Edward Your Not Sorry. So just please stop. There is nothing left to beg for."

I walk out to see all my friends around the door with sad faces. Oh god. They heard the whole thing.

"I'm finally done with Edward Cullen."

**Thank you for reading. Please review!**


	7. The date

**Here it is. Thank you all so much for your amazing reviews. You guys are amazing. **

**So this chapter is a little fluffy I guess. I thought we needed a little break from all the Bella Edward drama.**

**But don't worry. It will return.**

**So I hope you like it=)**

Your Not Sorry

Chapter 6

_I walk out to see all my friends around the door with sad faces. Oh god. They heard the whole thing._

_"I'm finally done with Edward Cullen."_

"Bella what happened?" Alice was at my side in a flash.

"I can't do it anymore." I whispered, afraid my voice would break.

I was immediatly embraced by everyone.

Alice looked at me then the door then back at me.

"Go." I told her. Knowing she was worried about her brother.

She nodded and ran into my room to comfort Edward.

"Bella you did the right thing." Rose whispered.

"Yeah it's about time." Emmet added not so quietly.

"Shh!" Me, Rose and Jasper all said. We laughed quietly at Emmet's bluntness.

"I got to get out of here." I finally said.

"Bells this is your house." Jasper said confused.

"I know but I just need to get away and plus I don't want to see him when he leaves." I whispered the last part.

They all nodded in understanding.

"Okay. But I'm going with you." Rose said grabbing her purse.

"Rose no that's okay I'll be fine." I told her.

"Bella don't start I'm going." She said in her don't-mess-with-me voice.

I just nodded knowing there was no point in argueing.

So me and Rose left saying a quick goodbye to the guys. I grabbed the keys to my car which Rose quickly took from me.

"I'll drive honey." She said softly. I nodded thinking it's probably a good idea.

So i sat in the passenger seat and buckled my seatbelt. "So where too?" Rose asked pulling out of my drive way.

"Just drive." She nodded and we were off.

I was watching the scenery pass when the weight off what I just did finally hit me. I lost my best friend. My rock, My strength, My heart. My Edward.

Tears silently fell down my cheeks, as I leaned my forehead on the window. It didn't go unnoticed by Rose of course.

She didn't say anything she just grabbed my hand and held it while she drove with the other.

She looked over at me and smiled and gently squeezed my hand. With that little gesture I knew I would be okay.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

I had my phone on viberate because Edward wouldn't stop calling. He hasn't stopped calling since last night. It's bein driving me crazy.

"Ugh." I groaned and finally threw my phone across the room.

Rose laughed. "Gee Bella."

I turned to glare at her in mock anger. "Okay I get it." She laughed putting her hands up in surrender.

"He won't stop!" I yelled when it stopped vibrating then started again.

"I swear I am going to kill him." I said to my phone angryly.

Rose laughed again. "Bell just answer it and tell him to stop." Rose shrugged sitting next to me on my couch handing me a spoon for the new ice cream she just brought with her.

"Fine next time he calls I will." I said taking a big bite of ice cream. Not ten seconds later the vibrating started again.

"Ugh." I got off the couch and picked up my phone and answered it harshly. "Yes Edward please tell me what is so important that you have had to call me 300 times in a row." I said sarcastically.

Rose smirked at my tone. "Bella please just listen. I miss you. I'm sorry I-" I cut him off.

"Edward we have had this conversation. Please just stop calling me." I said tierdly into the phone. I am so sick of having this same conversation.

"So this is it then. We cant even be friends?" He said bitterly.

"No Edward I'm sorry not right now. Maybe eventually. But I just can't." My voice cracked. I took a deep breath ttrying to calm myself down.

"Bella please just-" I cut him off again.

"Edward please." I whispered.

He sighed defeated. "Okay. I'm sorry Bella. Bye."

I hung up the phone and tears began to fall once again. Rose was at my side in seconds and was comforting me like she had been doing since it happened.

She hasn't left my side since the fight. I think Alice feels bad because she hasn't been there for me much. But I understand she needs to be there for her brother too. Especially since Emmet and Jas took my side. He really has no one.

"Rose I'm okay." I whispered.

"Okay Bella. I'm here okay. You know that." She shook my shoulders slightly.

"I know Rose. Thank you. You have been incredible."I thanked her for probably the hundreth time.

She smiled and hugged me again. "No problem honey." She whispered.

"Okay lets eat our now melted ice cream and watch some crappy soap opera." She said excitedly.

I laughed. "Okay." We sat back down and ate ice cream together watching some show that was unbelievably cheesy.

As I laughed with my best friend. I couldn't help but think I can make it through this.

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"Bella hurry up. He is going to be here in like 5 minutes." Alice whined from the other side of the door.

I rolled my eyes at my teeny best friend, it's still like a half hour early. She is so dramatic.

"Alice Cullen calm your butt down. She just wants to look gorgeous." Rose scolded her.

"Oh she will." Alice said confidently.

"Guys I'm coming out." I called nervously. I could literally hear Alice bouncing in excitment.

I opened the door slowly and stepped out timidly. They both gasped. I immediatly became self concious.

"What does it fit wierd? Is it to big?" I started firing question after question.

"Shh." Rose shushed me with her finger.

"Bella you look beautiful." Alice said slowly.

I laughed. "Don't sound so suprised." I said sarcastically.

They both laughed and hit my arm. "Seriously though Bells. You look gorgeous." Rose said sincerly.

"Thanks guys. You picked it." I reminded them.

I was wearing a strapless dark blue silk top and dark skinny jeans, with dark blue pumps, which I was not happy about.

"We know!" They said at the same time while high fiving. I had to laugh at there childness.

"Okay let me just touch up your hair. " Alice said coming towards me with a curling iron.

"Yeah your make up too." Rose said in her buisness voice.

I sighed, because I thought I was done with this part, and surrendered over to them.

10 minutes later there were finished. And in about seconds the doorbell rang.

We all squealed like 15 year old girls before composing ourselves.

Alice skipped to the door and opened it. "While you are right on time."

Julian smiled gorgeously. "Am I? Great."

He looked absoultly amazing in a dark grey button down shirt and dark washed jeans.

He saw me and his smile widened. He pulled out a single red rose handing it to me sweetly.

"You look breathtakingly beautiful tonight." He said sweetly.

I smiled and took the rose handing it to Alice to put in water. "Thank you. You look pretty good yourself."

The girls awwed. I looked at them and rolled my eyes. "Alright lets go before they pull out the camera." I fake whispered to Julian. He laughed and the girls just rolled there eyes.

"Bye guys see you later."

"Bye Bella." They called out in unison. I had to laugh at them before taking Julians hand to go to his car.

He opened up the passenger door for me before climbing in his own. "So where are we going?" I asked him.

"You'll see." He winked and I groaned.

He just laughed before taking my hand and softly kissing it. I smiled in complete bliss. Yeah I can get through this.

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I walked in my house slowly putting my purse down on a table near the door.

"Hello?" I called out. "Where are my girls?"

I walked further into my home and found my two best friends sleeping in very uncomfortable postions on my couch.

I laughed silently and grabbed my camera to take a picture. They looked hilarious.

Rose was laying across the entire couch with her arm hanging off while Alice was on her laying upside down with her head hanging off. How they ended up asleep in that position I will never know.

I snapped the picture and the flash caused them to stir. Rose sat up quickly causing Alice to fall on her head off the couch.

"Wha- What." Rose mumbled sleepily.

I was now holding my side from laughing so hard.

"Ow what the hell Rose?" Alice asked rubbing her head. They heard my laugh and both looked up and the same time.

Both of there faces immediatly brightened. "Bella." They said exitedly.

"Omg what happened? How was it? Did he kiss you? Do you like him? Where did you go?" They started firing questions like crazy.

I giggled. "Whoa hold on. Let me change then we will talk. One at a time." I emphasized. They smiled sheepishly.

I grabbed my pajamas and went and changed quickly in the bathroom.

I walked out to find them both on my bed indian style with eager looks on there faces. I laughed and jumped on my bed across from them throwing my hair in a ponytail.

"So. . ." Alice started.

"Okay one question at a time." I said quickly before they started going off again.

"Okay where did you go?" Rose asked.

"He took me out to this small resturant out of town a bit. It was beautiful."

_"We are here." He announced happily._

_He helped me out of the car like a gentleman and held my hand all the way to the door._

_"Reservation for 2 under Denali" He told the host._

_"Right this way sir." The young girl said leading us to a very secluded booth towards the back._

_The resturant was gorgeous, It was small and very cozy, there were small candles lit everywhere which gave it a romantic glow. The tables all circled a small dance area where a jazz band was performing. It was perfect._

_"Wow this place is amazing." I said as we shrugged off our coats._

_"I know I love it here. They have the best food too." He bragged._

_"Okay then how about you order for me." I asked him not really minding what I ate._

_"Okay." He said excitedly. I had to laugh at his eagerness._

_He waved the waiter over before ordering us some cokes and 'the special' whatever that is._

_"So what made you finally agree to go on a date with me"He asked me the one question I was hoping to avoid, only because of what other questions it can lead to._

_"I always have wanted to. I just was. . . going through something at the time." That sounded true enough._

_"Oh really like what?" He asked genuinely interested._

_"Um I guess you could say I was stuck in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere." I tried to explain without saying to much._

_"Oh I see. And are you still stuck in that relationship?" He asked a pretty good question I think._

_"Nope. I'm completly and fully here with you. Now." I reached across the table to grab his hand._

_He took it willingly and squeezed it gently. "Good. Because I think your amazing Bella." He said so sincerly it suprised me._

_"I think your pretty great too." He smiled and it took my breath away._

"Awww" They both said as I told them the story.

"He sounds so sweet." Alice said dreamily.

"He is." I said grinning like a school girl.

We all squealed for the second time tonight.

"Okay okay. Then what happened?"Alice asked. "What did he order you.?"

_The waiter then came and broke our intense gaze with our drinks and meals. The special had turned out to be baked chicken alfredo, with crab. It was absolutely delicious._

_"So I did good?" He asked smugly._

_I giggled and nodded. "Yes you did good Julian."_

_He smiled before taking my hand and leading me to the dance floor. "Lets dance."_

_I pulled back gently. "Julian I am not the best dancer I must warn you. You know how clumsy I am." He chuckled at my scared face._

_"You'll be fine. And for me. I think I'll take my chances." He winked._

_I gave in and let him pull me. "Fine but I warned you."_

_We danced for what seemed like forever and it suprisingly was not bad. He held my waist and right hand and guided me through it perfectly._

_I only stepped on his feet twice through the whole night. Which I think is a pretty big accomplishment._

_He softly sang along with the lyrics in my ear. It was perfect, once again I was in complete bliss. I could tell, I could fall for him if I let myself._

_The question was, will I let myself?_

_"Ready?" He asked once the song ended. I nodded and we left._

_We drove once again with him holding one hand and driving with the other. Everyonce and a while he would look over at me and smile or bring our hands up to his lips and kiss my hand.. It was perfect. He was perfect._

"Bella do you like him?" Rose asked excitedly.

I nodded smiling so big my cheeks hurt. I'm sure my cheeks will be sore tomorrow from all the smiling I did tonight.

"Really?" Alice asked just as excited.

I nodded again. The both smiled.

"Good. You need it." Rose said rubbing my arm gently.

I took a deep breath, like I always did now when I thought about Edward, and nodded in agreement.

"Ohh so did he kiss you?" Rose asked.

_I went to open my door but Julian beat me to it. I giggled when I seen him there in a flash. He offered me his hand and helped me out of the car._

_"You don't have to walk me to my door Julian." I told him._

_"Of course I do." He said as if I was being ridiculous. _

_I laughed again and just let him lead me to my door._

_"I had a great time Julian, Thank you. I needed it." I told him sincerly. After the month I had, I definatly needed it._

_"No problem. Thanks for agreeing to come with me. I had a great time too. You are simply amazing Bella. Your so different and beautiful. I hope we can do this again." He said once we reached my door._

_His words touched me, he only kept getting better, and better,_

_"Of course I would love to. And I think you are amazing too." He smiled wider._

_He slowly pushed a stray hair out of my eyes before cupping my cheek gently. He slowly leaned in a pressed his lips gently to mine._

_The kiss was gentle and sweet. So perfect. He pulled away and smiled. "I'll call you later Bella." He said before walking to his car._

_I stood on the doorstep watching him untill I couldn't see his car anymore. Perfect._

"Awww" They said again for probably the tenth time tonight.

I laughed. "You guys are such girls."

They looked at me like I was crazy. "we are girls Bella." Rose told me slowly as if I was stupid.

We laughed and I hit them both.

Alice's phone started to viberate, she looked at the screen then up a me nervously.

"Um I'll be right back." She ran out of my room and answered her phone quickly.

"Edward." Me and Rose said together once she left the room.

"It's her brother. She doesn't have to hide it from me." I said.

"I think she just doesn't want to upset you. Especially since you had such a great night." Rose said softly. I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. Well I'm tiered lets go to sleep." I said turing off the lights. Rose was already under the covers on one end. I quickly went to the other end.

"Ugh I get the middle again." Alice whined from the doorway.

Me and Rose laughed loudly. We all hated the middle. It's so hot and squished.

"You guys suck. You so planned that." She pouted settling herself in between us.

"Heck yes." I said and me and Rose pounded fists over her in the air.

"hmp." She crossed her arms and me and Rose laughed again, but she couldn't hold it back anymore. She joined in our laughter.

We stopped laughing and it got quiet. No one talked so I started to drift to sleep.

"Guys."Alice whispered. "I'm hungry."

Me and Rose burst out laughing. "Go get food Alice." I told her, like it wasn't obvious.

"I can't." she said in a small voice again.

"Why not?" I could imagine Rose's eye roll as she said that.

"Im scared." She whispered.

We laughed again, I think we are just going delirious.

"Alice what in the world are you scared of?" I asked between laughs.

"Well what if while I'm out there someone breaks in and kidnaps me, and you and Rose fall asleep so you don't hear me scream so I get stolen. Then torchered to death and you will never know." We were crying by the end of her rant from laughing so hard.

"Alice seriously." I asked her.

"Yes guys. Pleas come with me." She whined.

Rose groaned.

"Ugh fine." I said angrly throughing the covers off of us.

So we walked to the kitchen in the dark, it didn't occur to us to turn on the lights, Alice was holding my arm for dear life, while looking around suspiciously.

"Alice really?" Rose said annoyed.

"Shhh!." Alice whispered nervously.

"What?" I asked her.

"Shhh he might here you." She whispered.

I looked at Rose for help. She just shrugged. "Who might-"

"shhh" she cut me off.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Who might here us?" I whispered.

"The kidnapper." She sounded truly scared.

I looked at Rose and we both just started laughing for probably then hundreth time tonight,

"Shhh." Alice shushed us frantically only making us laugh more.

We finally reached my kitchen and Alice opened the fridge quickly for light, me and Rose sat on the counter waiting for our crazy friend to find some snacks.

All the sudden we heard a bang from the other side of the house. We all jumped slightly, well Alice more than slightly.

"What was that?" Rose asked trying to not sound scared.

"The kidnapper." Alice whispered.

Alice was pratically attached to my leg now. "It's probably just the wind." I whispered.

We all listened intently for another sign of the wind, when all the sudden Rose's phone viberated. But of course it was on the counter so it made the loudest sound.

We are all already jumpy from Alice so we all screamed at the sound. Rose picked up her phone angryly after she calmed down.

"Emmet Cullen! It is 2 in the morning. Why the heck are you calling me? You gave us a heart attack!" She growled into the phone.

"Where's the tissue?" He asked it was so quiet that would could hear him clearly. Me and Alice bust out laughing.

"Emmet seriously?"She growled again. I couldn't stop laughing now.

"Ugh it's behind the towels under the sink."She growled again before slamming her phone shut.

"Idiot." She mumbled under her breath.

"Okay guys ready?" I asked. They both nodded.

Now with all of us scared we were latched by the arms walking quietly towards my room. And sound would make us jump. After finally making it to my room. We all layed down and held hands still scared.

After of a few minutes of silence. I started laughing hysterically and I mean hysterically.

Rose and Alice stared at me like I was a crazy person and I should be committed. "What?" Rose finally asked.

I started to speak but couldn't because I was laughing so hard. Alice giggled slightly. "Bella seriously what?"

I finally calmed down, slightly, well enough to choke out my explanation. "You guys realize we are 23 yeard olds having a _sleepover _that are scared of the dark?"

They thought about what I said for a moment before they started laughing hysterically themselves.

We laughed for a good 10 minutes before calming down.. Alice started giggling again trying to hold in her laughter before we all started up again.

After another 5 minutes of laughing we finally really calmed down.

"God were ridiculous." I said wiping the tears from my eyes.

The both just nodded wiping there own eyes. "Alright lets go to sleep before we go crazy again." Rose suggested.

We laughed lightly, to scared to laugh for real, in case we can't stop.

"Goodnight guys. I love you." I whispered into the darkness.

"Goodnight. I love you guys too." They both whispered.

I laughed and was asleep in a matter of seconds.

Yeah. I'll be okay.

**Thank you for reading. Please review!**


	8. Parents in town

**Okay so I am so sorry this chapter took so long. I have had so many problems lately, my computer crashed and ive been busy with summer, but school is starting back up and i got a new computer so i am back. **

**So here it is. Enjoy=)**

Your Not Sorry

Chapter 7- Parents in town

I was sitting at work just waiting for Alice to call knowing she will.

_That's what girls do._

Ah right on cue. I picked up my phone quickly because it was really loud and everyone was already staring at me from the outburst of my absurd ringtone.

"Hello Alice." I said trying to not sound annoyed.

"Bella Swan dont use that tone with me." She scolded obviously knowing I was irratated.

I laughed. "What do I owe this pleasure my dear?" I said faking nice.

"Now thats better." She giggled. "I called to see if you were coming tomorrow?" She asked.

I sighed. I have been asking myself that question all week. I have been doing great and me and Julian were getting along and I was getting better. But this would be the first time I would have to see Edward.

I sighed. "Yeah." I said sadly. I figured we were all friends so I was going to have to get used to being around him and nobody has ever missed a dinner so I will go. For my friends.

"It will be fine Bella. I promise." She said knowing I was not looking forward to it.

"Thanks Ali. I will talk to you later. Love you." I said quickly hanging up not wanting to further the conversation.

I have been doing pretty good this week but I still am not ready to talk about him casually. Just the sound of his name made me want to cry. I missed my bestfriend and it was killing me.

But I will get used to it. At least I hope so.

--

I was walking into the coffee shop, meeting Julian when my phone rang Alice's ringtone.

I picked it up not really confused because me and Alice talked frequently throught out the week, but I thought she would be busy cooking today.

"Hey Ali." I said happily walking to give Julian a hug and apologizing for being on the phone.

"Edward isn't coming tonight." She said bluntly. I was a little confused but okay?

"Oh thats odd we never miss." I mused silently thanking god that he wasn't gonna be there.

Julian silently asked me what I wanted so I whispered my order and he left to grab our drinks whil I listened to Alice rant.

"No Bell you don't understand. He hasn't answered any of my calls our the guys' and he won't see anyone." She said in one breath.

"I understand but I'm sure Edward is just our partying or something. He will go tomorrow I wouldn't worry about it." I said nochalantly not understanding the crisis here.

"No Bells he called me Monday saying he wasn't coming and hasn't talked or seen anyone since. He's home because his car is there but he won't let me in. I'm really worried Bella." She did sound worried so that made me panic a little.

"Alice i'm sure he is fine. Maybe he is working?" I tried to give a reason but I couldn't come up with one.

"Bella please I need your help." She begged.

I instantly panicked. "Alice I can't he won't talk to me either."

"Please Bells."

"Alice I said I was done with him. I can't jsut go back waltzing in his life. He isn't my concern anymore." I explained while Julian came back with our coffee. I smiled apologetically to him and continued to Alice.

"Bells please. My parents are coming." Thats all she said and I knew I had to help. He would never miss his parents' visit if something wasn't seriously wrong.

"Does he know?" I asked pretty sure he didn't or else he would be there.

"Yes." She said and I freaked out. Something isn't right.

"I'll be right there." I said standing up quickly grabbing my keys and coffee.

"Thank you so much Bella." She said sounding relieved.

I hung up and started walking off totally forgetting about Julian in my rush to check on Edward.

"Bella?" He asked confused.

I turned around. "Oh my god Julian I am so sorry. I have to go." I said quickly.

"Is everything okay?" He asked concerned.

"I don't know I have to go help Edward."

"I thought you weren't friends with him anymore?" He asked confused. He didn't know the whole story all he knew is we had a fight.

"We're not. But I have to help him." I said trying to hurry this conversation along.

"Why?" He asked annoyed.

"Because no matter what happens. He is my best friend." I told him like he was insane for suggesting otherwise.

He rolled his eyes. "Okay." He said sitting back down.

"Thank you so much. I am so sorry." I said kissing his cheek and running out as quickly as possible.

I think he has a good idea of what went wrong with me and Edward. But he has to understand I have known these people forever and they will always come first.

No matter what. Even when you are so mad at one of them, it doesn't matter. They are always my first priority.

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**Edwards POV**

I. am. miserable.

I need her. I want her. I can't even believe I screwed things up this badly.

I lost the most important person in my life.

All because I was an idiot.

My best friend in the whole world wanted me. _Me. _My gorgeous, kind, perfect best friend wanted me and I was to stupid and immature and I lost her.

I never knew how much of an effect she had on me. I have always been selfish and never cared about anyone else. Except her.

I have always cared about her. I fell in love with her a 14 but I was young and didn't want a girlfriend. So we stayed best friends.

I never knew I still loved her, or that she still loved me untill recently.

After I seen her with that guy. _Julian._

And I got extremely jealous, I knew the feelings were still there. They wern't strong enough to want a relationship but I knew I didn't want her with anyone else either.

So she didn't, but I screwed that up. She kept giving me chances and I kept blowing them. I don't know why but I did.

Well I do know why. I'm an idiot.

I haven't moved in a week. I ignore all my calls because I know it won't be the one voice I wanna hear, the voice I need to hear.

She stood infront of me broken and hurt telling me she was done with me. The sight was unbearably painful to see, but what made it worse was knowing I did it. I put that pain in her heart and made her cry.

Why? Because i'm an idiot.

I groaned and ran a hand through my messy hair. I can't even function with out her. Life didn't even seem worth going on. I can't just move on without her.

She was my everything to me. She still is and she won't even let me explain that to her.

She told me she no longer believed me, she didn't belive I was sorry. But I was. I was the most sorry I have ever been in my life. I never knew it was possible to be this sorry.

But I know why she doesn't believe me anymore. I wouldn't either, I lied and used her so many times.

I lost her, completley, I finally pushed he over the edge and I couldn't feel worse about it. The moment she walked out that door and out of my life forever I knew I loved her.

I was in love with her. I always was. I realized after it was to late.

Why do we do that. Don't realize what we have until it's gone. I never knew I needed her. I never knew she was it for me.

I had told her that at the age of 14 but never understood how true that was. She is it for me. She is everything I have ever wanted and more.

I couldn't believe the only girl I have ever and will ever love I let slip away because I was stupid and selfish. I guess that's the price we all pay for our mistakes.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Someone pounded on my door. I ignored it, it's probably just my sister.

_Thump. THUMP. THUMP._

They pounded louder I gronaned. "Alice go away!" I shouted angrily at the door.

_THUMP. THUMP._

"Mary Alice Cullen go away!" I growled again.

"Edward?" I froze.

"Edward it's me." The voice I have been longing to hear said.

I stood up and pratically ran to the door. "Bella." I said happily as I opened the door,

She stood there absolutely perfect looking at me.

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Bella's POV

He opened the door looking a, mess for a lack of a better word.

It looked like he hasn't changed or showered in a least a week. His already natrually messy hair looked deshevled. His eyes were red and puffy with dark cirlces under them. I have known him for over 10 years and have never seen him like this.

Once I seen he was alive and not harmed this panic and worry faded and turned back into anger.

"Edward take a shower now." I said sternly walking into his usually perfectly clean apartment to find it a complete mess.

"Bella." He said in disbelief.

"Edward shower now." I said again taking off my coat and scarf.

"What are you doing here?" He asked once the shock wore off.

"I'm here because your being a selfish idiot. Your parents are coming tonight and I'm going to make sure they have a clean, functioning, son there eating beside them."

"Bella I am so sorry I just-" I cut him off.

"Honestly Edward I don't wanna hear it. Just shower and get dressed. Please." I said in a tired voice. I was tired of always coming to his rescue and having the same conversation with him.

He nodded curtly and walked towards his bathroom. I sighed and looked around his apartment trying to figure out where the best place to start is.

"Bella." I turned to see him perched by the door of his bathroom.

"You know you don't have to do this." He said quietly.

"Yes I do." I said simply.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Why?"

"Because I love Carlisle and Esme far too much for them to be worried about you, or see you like this." I gestured to his appearance.

He nodded sadly and walked in the bathroom.

"And." I continued and he peeked his head out the door.

"Your my best friend Edward. Even when I can't stand you or that it's killing me to be around you I still love you. No matter what." I whispered the last part.

He smiled sadly. "I love you too Bella. No matter what." He added and winked before shutting the door.

I took a deep breath and began cleaning his dirty apartment.

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"Bella!" Esme held out her arms excitedly for me which I happily flung myself into.

"Esme I've missed you." I said happily.

"Oh me too dear you look as gorgeous as ever." She smiled and I couldn't help but return it.

"Now where is that silly son of mine?" She teased and smiled and moved aside to show Edward.

"Oh Edward!" She flung her arms around him and I caught Alice's eye from across the room.

"Thank you." She mouthed and I nodded in relief that we got him here looking decent.

I then greeted Carlisle and gave him a hug and moved on to my friends to say my hello's. Once everyone saw eachother we moved into Alice's dinning room for dinner.

As far as Carlisle and Esme know me and Edward are still best friends and nothing that happened in the last 3 months happened.

So we had to pretend, all of us, that absolutely nothing was wrong, which turned out to be easier than we thought.

Edward stayed quiet for most of the dinner and me and Alice talked animatedly. But of course Esme always knows when something is up so it didn't go unnoticed by her that Edward was uncomfortable.

"Edward dear how have you been?" She asked suddenly.

He gulped down his bite of food. "Good Ma." He smiled at her and she nodded still not completley convinced.

"Have you been keeping this one in line Bella." She teased pointing her fork at Edward.

Everyone looked at me nervously. I smiled. "Of course don't I always." I teased back hoping it sounded convincing.

She laughed. "Good you always could get through to him better than anyone else." She rolled her eyes still joking but we all knew she was serious.

We all smiled and nodded. "That she does." Edward said softly staring at me intensly.

"So Bella any trips to the emergency room I have missed?" Carlisle teased, and even though it was aimed at me I was grateful for the distraction.

I fake glared at him. "No Carlisle I have been just fine." I said pretending I was offended.

He smirked looking much like Edward and chuckled slightly. "Good to know." He teased.

"Oh you'll be glad to know dad she hasn't gaven up her clumsyness altogether. . ." Emmets voice trailed off telling his parents one of my many less graceful moments but my attention was on Esme.

She was watching mine and Edwards every move, she knew something was up. She always did, she has like a sense for it or something.

After dinner we all made our way to the living room after Esme, Edward and I did the dishes. Yes she requested us. She so knows.

We sat down and started talking about nothing of importance when Esme once again brought up the subject of me and Edward.

"Edward, Bella do you guys remember that day you made cookies in my kitchen and ended up getting in a food fight?" She said suddenly. I smiled automatically at the memory of mine and Edward's better times.

"Yeah we made the biggest mess." I said trying to humor her.

"Oh just about a month ago they got in a food fight." Jasper told her amused.

Everyone laughed as they all retold the tale and me and Edward just sat there unabashed. "Hey I just retaliated, he started it for no reason at all." I said defending myself pointing at Edward.

All eyes turned to him for an explanation as to why he flung mashed potatos at me. "I just thought Bella would look cute with mashed potatos on her face." He shrugged as if it was all innocent. "She is the one who flipped out and attacked my hair." He whined the last part fluffing his bronze hair.

I rolled my eyes as everyone laughed at us. I smiled because even for just a moment everything felt like normal. Like me and Edward weren't screwed up beyond repair, that we aren't all lieing to the two most wonderful parents, but like we were all going to be okay.

But of course that could only last for a minute. "Bella." Esme called me suddenly, I blinked my thoughts away and looked towards her. She nodded her heads towards the door and I nodded standing up to follow her into Alice's room. Everyone else pretended to not notice and continue on with there conversation but they were all just as curious as I was.

Once we were in her room she closed the door softly and sat on the edge of her bed patting the spot next to her for me. I smiled nervously and sat beside her.

"Bella honey I don't know exactly what is going on but I can tell there is some tension between you and Edward." She started out. I winced internally, this was the conversation I was hoping to avoid.

I never moved my gaze from my hands on my lap. "And I want you to know that I know my son isn't perfect and I know that whatever he did, he regrets it."

"How can you-" She held up her hand to stop me.

"I know my son." She said simply which she did, She knew her children well, like any good mother should.

"I just wanted to remind you that you both love eachother very much, and I know this must not be a small thing because you two wouldn't throw away your friendship for something little. And I don't know what has happened but you two have made it through everything else together, you two are best friends and always have been so whatever my son did, don't punish him too much. He truley does love you Bella no matter how he acts, he does." She placed her hand on my shoulder.

I looked up and thats when I noticed I had tears in my eyes. She smiled softly and patted my hair. "I know dear it has always been hard for you to be friends with him," She raised her eyebrows suggestivly. "and it probably still isn't"

"I don't know what to do Esme." I said sadly the tears spilling over at this point.

"Just give him time Bella. He will come around I promise." She said confidently. I nodded and smiled weakly at her. She stood up and kissed my forehead before silently returning to the others.

I collected myself before going back out, shortly after everyone was gettign ready to leave.

"Come on Esme we have to get back tonight." Carlisle said starting for the door after helping his wife up.

"You guys aren't staying again?" Edward asked sadly.

"Oh no dear. We stayed last night. We don't want to impose on Alice again." Esme said.

"Oh don't be silly I imposed on you guys for 18 years." Alice scoffed.

"And brought friends." I said gesturing to me, Rose, and Jas. They all laughed.

"Silly kids don't worry about it. Carlisle has to work tomorrow and I have a client meeting in the morning. It's fine." She said we all nodded reluctantly not really wanting them to go but agreed anyway.

We all said our goodbyes and me and Edward climbed in my car and headed to his apartment.

"So that was interesting." Edward mumbled once we were driving.

"Your mom knows." I said just staring at the road in front of me.

"How much." Edward sighed running a hand through his hair.

"Not everything but I'm pretty sure she has a good idea." He nodded and turned forward.

"Of course she knows. She's my mom she knows everything." He kind of chuckled and I nodded in agreement.

It was silent for most of the ride home, it wasn't akward, or comfortable really, it was just. Silent.

I pulled into his parking garage and shut off the engine. I looked at Edward who was staring at me with a pained expression on his face.

He took a deep breath. "Bella I just wanted to aplogize again. I know it doesn't mean anything to you but it does to me. Because I truley am sorry." He started out.

I nodded. "Thank you." I said quietly.

"Bella I had fun tonight. Being normal with you. I miss this, I miss you."

I sighed. Knowing this conversation isn't going to end well. "Edward it was great pretending tonight like everything was fine and like nothing happened but it did, and it isn't. I miss you too but I just need. . . time." I tried to explain.

"Time for what?" He asked confused.

"For being friends again. Probably not like we were but, friends."

He was staring forward so I couldn't see his face fully. He turned and his expression suprised me. He looked angry almost.

"No." He said fiercely.

"what?" I asked taken aback by his tone and glare.

"Bella don't you get it. I love you I don't want to just be friends with you." He said exhasperated.

I groaned and ran my hands through my hair. "Edward I have heard this all before. I can't do it again." I whispered.

"I know Bella and I screwed up I know that but I mean it this time. Just give me a chance. I promise I won't screw up this time. I will prove. . . " His voice trailed off as I tried to organize my thoughts.

I shook my head looking up at him tears now forming in my eyes. "What do you want from me?" I whispered.

"I just want you." He said out of breath from his rambling.

I shook my head. "No you don't. You had me Edward, you had me for 12 years and did nothing. You had me on my couch 3 months ago and you left. I kept putting myself out there and everytime you ran. You don't want me, you only want what you can't have. I can't keep doing this Edward. I have had my heart broken for 12 years and i'm done. I tried to say we could be friends again but that isn't enough for you. I don't know what else to do here Edward." I hit the steering wheel in frustration as the tears began to spill over.

"Bella i've changed. I know now that I want you and only you."

I shook my head. "That's just it Edward. _You_ know what _you _want now. It is always about you. What about me Edward? What am I supposed to do? Just wait for you." I asked him, his face turning more heartbroken with each word I spoke.

"Bella I only want to make you happy. It is _all _about you, everything I do is for you. Just please tell me how I can fix this." He grabbed my hands in both of his, his face pleading with me to give him an answer.

I shook my head and gently pulled my hands out of his grasp. "Edward I told you last week I was done and I am. Today was for your family. I thought maybe we could fix our friendship eventually but that road seems alot longer that before."

He groaned and ran his hand through his hair. "Bella I am so sorry. So so sorry. I screwed this up pretty badly didn't I." He said into his hands, where his head rested.

I closed my eyes letting my silent tears fall. "Yeah Edward you did."

I opened them to look at him. He now had tears running down his face too, his expression broke my heart even more, if that's even possible.

"I'm sorry Bella. I love you so much." He whispered before leaning over and pulling me into him kissing my hair.

I nodded and he smiled once more before climbing out of the car and closing the door softly.

"I love you too. " I whispered to he empty passenger seat beside me.

**let me know what you think. Review please=)**


	9. Whatever it takes

**A/N Here is the next chapter. I am so happy with all the reviews im getting. Thank you all so much. I love you all. **

**Please enjoy=)**

Your Not Sorry.

Chapter 8-Whatever it Takes

Epov

I had a plan. A plan to get my Bella back. I can't live without her.

There is no doubt in my mind anymore that I love Bella. Not just love her I am completely head over heels in love with her its borderline pathetic. But I didn't care. I just needed her.

I need her to know how much she means to me. I know I screwed up but I want to fix that. I need to fix it. She is my best friend, my soul mate. I can't just give that up.

And I was going to make her see that. With a little help from my sister and everything should fall right into place.

I dialed her number waiting for her to pick up.

"Edward? Hi!" I couldn't blame her for sounding shocked and relieaved. I had been living under a rock for the last week.

"Hey Ali I need your help." I said straight to the point.

"Of course. What with?" I knew she would immediately agree. Just to tell her exactly what she agreed to is going to be the problem.

"Get Bella back." I heard her sigh on the other end.

"Edward I know you found out your in love with Bella finally but in the meantime you broke her heart-"

I cut her off. "Alice I know believe me I do. I just need to make this right. I don't just love her Alice. I am in love with her. I need her to forgive me. Please can you help me?" I practically begged.

I heard her sigh again. "I think this is a bad Idea Edward." She said quietly.

"Ali please I just need to have on grand gesture to show her how much I care." I said getting excited.

"Edward she doesn't want a grand gesture. She wants time. You can't just ambush her. It will never work. I know-" I cut her off again.

"Alice please." I begged again.

I heard her mumble on the other line. "this is never going to work." before she reluctantly agreed. "Fine Edward. What do you need me to do.? She said sounding tiered.

Perfect. "Thank you so much. Now I'm going to need you too. . ."

Bpov.

I was at home watching the reruns of Greys Anatomy thinking over all of last night's events. I missed Edward so much. God I did but I just can't go back to normal. Not yet.

And I tried to be friends but he wanted more. Ugh I swear he is the epitome of the phrase "driving me crazy."

MY cell rang but I was confused because it wasn't an assigned ringtone.

I picked up off of the coffee table and smiled when I said Julian's name flashing on my screen.

I slid my phone open an answered. "Hello."

"Hey Bella." I smiled at his smooth voice.

"Julian I am so sorry about yesterday. It was sort of a family emergency." I felt really bad about leaving him yesterday.

"Is everything okay?" He sounded concerned.

"Yeah fine now."

"Okay so I was thinking dinner? Tonight? To make up for yesterday." I could practically here his grin in his voice.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah of course."

"Okay I will pick you up at 7."

"Sounds good. See you later." I said hanging up not waiting for his goodbye.

I set my phone down noting it was only 10. I'll call Alice and Rose later for help.

--

"Bella just put the damn shoes on!" Alive held out the shoes with on arm and the other was on her hip.

She was grumpy today and I wasn't going to mess with her.

I grabbed the shoes roughly from her and strapped the death traps on my feet. "What is with you today Ali?" I asked.

Rose nodded, obviously noticing Alice's sour mood.

"Nothing. I just have had a very frustrating day," She practically growled.

I looked at Rose and she looked about just as amused I was.

"Why? Jas on his period again?" I teased. Me and the girls frequently teased the guys because I swear sometimes they are PMSing. They were so emotional.

She cracked a smiled. "No my stupid brother called and had me-" I cut her off.

"No need to say anymore. Believe me I know how frustrating he is." I said rolling my eyes.

She smiled kind of sadly while Rose laughed. I don't get Alice's sudden mood change. Maybe _she _was on _her _period.

After applying some lip gloss the doorbell rang.

A huge smile spread across my face and I had to stop myself from letting out a squeal. Although Alice and Rose did skipping off to the door. I rolled my eyes and followed them out.

"Well hello Julian." I heard Rose greet coolly.

"Alice, Rose. Nice seeing you girls again." He greeted politely.

"Likewise." Alice said back.

I came around the corner then so they couldn't start questioning him. Because believe me, They will.

"Ah Bella." He said his smile growing.

I smiled back. "Hi." I said shyly.

I walked up to the girls who where holding out my things. Alice put on my jacket for me and I took my purse from Rose.

"Thanks guys." I said giving them a annoyed look. They just beamed there beautiful smiles back.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "I'll be back later." I said giving them each a kiss on the cheek. "Bye love you guys."

"Bye Bella. Love you too." They sung out in unison making them laugh.

Julian chuckled lightly to humor them and I just rolled my eyes. "Alright lets go." I said pulling Julian away from them.

He laughed once we got in the car. "You guys are really close huh?" He chuckled lightly shaking his head.

I laughed with him. "You have no idea." I said as he sped off to our destination.

--

"This place is really beautiful." I said commenting on a small Mexican gourmet place he brought me too.

It was very modern and chic. It was total opposite of what you would expect from a Mexican restaurant.

"Yeah it's one of mine and Tanya's favorites." He said referring to his sister that I wasn't exactly that fond of.

I just smiled politely and nodded.

"So your close with you sister?" I asked curious about there relationship.

"Yeah. She's my best friend. We never had many friends growing up because we moved so often so we were all each other has." He said shrugging.

I smiled. "I know what you mean." I said taking a drink of my soda. He looked at me curiously.

"How? I thought you were an only child?"

I quickly gulped down my drink and shook my head. "No I am. But with my friends I mean."

He still looked like he didn't understand where I was coming from. "Yeah but there not really family so it's not exactly the same." He said now taking a drink of his soda.

I'm sure my eyebrows shot up to the sky. "Excuse me?" I get very defensive over my friends.

"Well I know your close and all but, it's not exactly the same." He said shrugging.

Now I was irritated. "Really. Let me ask you this. What makes Tanya your sister? Other than you share the same DNA." I continued before he could answer.

"Is it because she was there the day you lost your first tooth, or your first day of school? Or when you had your first crush, kiss, love? Or when you went into high school, or middle school, hell even elementary? Or held your hair back the first time you had a hangover?"Okay I knew technically that one could never happen, because well he didn't have hair. But I was pissed.

"Or when you didn't have a date to prom she didn't go either? Or how about because she was with you the first time you started your period." Okay I was going overboard now. He tried to talk but I just continued on.

"Is it because, when you broke your leg she was the one to call for help? Or when your parents got divorced she was the one you cried to? I may not have _blood related _siblings. But my friends and I couldn't be any closer if we tried. DNA will never change that." I said sitting back satisfied as he fumbled with his words.

"Bella. . . No. . . that's not what I meant. I just. . . I've never. . . I don't know. Ugh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." He sounded truly worried that I was upset. I was.

"Julian its fine. I'm sorry. I just get overly protective of my friends. We have lived in our own private bubble for so long that I forget sometimes it's not the same with other people." I was truly sorry. I didn't mean to lash out on him. He just pissed me off.

"So who did what?" He asked amused and I knew what he meant.

"Well let's see Emmet _caused _my tooth to fall out. Edward _was_ my first crush, kiss, and love I guess." I said laughing bitterly.

"And um." I coughed getting back on track. "_After _Jasper pushed me out of the tree to make me fall and break my leg. He carried me inside for help. " He laughed as I replayed my childhood memories. "Uh Alice and Rose helped me with my hang over, _after _they got me drunk in the frist place." I said laughing at my relationship with all of my friends.

"Alice and Rose were going to stay for prom until Edward stepped up and took me even though he was in college." I smiled at the memory. "Of Alice and Rose with the period thing." I laughed when he cringed. "Sorry." I said sheepishly forgetting how grossed out guys get about that thing.

He laughed again just shaking his head. "Truth is Bella I think you have an amazing relationship with your friends, And I am sorry I ever implied it wasn't as strong as family. I can now see in some ways it's probably stronger." I smiled gratefully at him.

"Thanks. It is." I said nodding sure of it.

"Okay I have a question. And don't get mad." He quickly tacked on the end.

I giggled and nodded telling him to continue. He grinned and my heart accelerated.

"If you are all so close. Then why are you fighting with Edward." He asked very carefully trying not to offend me.

I smiled sadly because well, that is not an easy topic to talk about, and It's extremely complicated.

"I love him. He is my best friend. and I always will. Things just got complicated. One day I'm sure we will work it out. But right now it's just easier to stay away." I said trying to explain the best I could.

He nodded slowly. "Bella can I give you some advice?" He asked timidly.

I nodded back vigorously. "Yes please. I am so out of my element here." I said referring to fighting with my friends.

I mean we fought. But not seriously like this. More like I got pissed because Emmet ate my last doughnut or Alice made me wear a ridiculous outfit. Or Jasper forgot to return my cd. Stupid stuff like that.

"If you guys are as close as you say then I think you should hear the dude out. I mean I don't know what happened or anything but is it that big that you're willing to give up a lifetime of friendship?" He asked sincerely wiping the tears that had begun to silently fall.

"I don't know. That's the thing. Edward and I fight all the time. That's just us. But this is different. I don't know if we could just _fix it_ this time." I whispered.

He nodded and smiled sadly. "Okay I understand. Just don't give up so easily." He told me pulling me in for a hug.

I thought he wouldn't be on Edward's side if he knew the reason for our fall out. How ironic.

--

"I had a nice time Bella." He said once he drove up to my apartment.

"Me too. Sorry for my breakdown." I smiled sheepishly.

He laughed and waved it off. "No problem. I just want to help." He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

He pulled back and smiled. "Goodnight Bella." He said, his face still only inches from mine.

I smiled back. "Goodnight Julian." I pulled back and opened the door and climbed out of the car.

"Tell the girls I said hello." He said right as I shut the door.

I laughed and nodded waving at him until he drove out of sight.

I opened my door and called out for the girls. No answer.

This felt strangely familiar.

I went into the living room. No one there.

Kitchen. No one.

I huffed getting confused since I seen their cars outside.

_**All eyes on me in the center or a ring, just like a Circus.**_

_**When I crack that-**_

I slid open my phone quickly recognizing Rose's ringtone.

"Hey. Where are you guys?" I asked panic.

"Hey Bells. Were fine. Edward had an emergency we had to help him with." Rose said way to calmly.

"What!? Is he okay? What's wrong?" I just started firing off questions.

"Bell chill. He's fine. We are all alright. But we are going to need you to come get us."

"Okay where are you guys?" I said grabbing my keys already halfway out the door.

"Uh that's the thing Bella." She hesitated.

"What?" I asked annoyed.

"We're not sure. Eddie's car broke down on the way home." I groaned but then kind of laughed at the fact that Edward's perfect Volvo broke down.

"Edward's car?" I asked bursting out in laughter.

Rose laughed with me and I could hear Edward groan in frustration in the background.

"And you two car experts can't figure out what's wrong?" I asked skeptically.

Something's not adding up.

"Yes Bella. Please just hurry. I'm cold." She whined. I rolled my eyes at her dramatics but climbed in my car anyway.

"Fine where are you?"

"We are right outside of Forks by the forest." She said quickly.

I groaned that was far! "I'll find you." I practically growled into the phone.

"Thanks Bells. Love ya." She chirped hanging up.

--

I pulled over once I saw Edward's car parked on the side of the road. But no Rose, Alice, or even Edward in sight.

I got out of my car suspiciously until I seen lights strung in the tree's lighting a pathway. I rolled my eyes and followed the lights deeper into the forest. Which is not a good idea in heels by the way.

A few trips, scrapes and bruises later I finally was seeing the end of the trail and I recognized it immediately.

I took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay before I stepped into the beautiful round meadow in front of me. Our meadow.

Epov

She walked through the trees looking. . . stunning. There was simply no other word for it.

She was still dressed up from her date with _Julian. _She was in a little simple black dress and black stilettos. She probably had fun walking over here.

She looked around and I could see the recognition in her eyes and the awe at what stood in front of her.

Alice, Rose and I have been stringing lights for the past 3 hours. We did the path so she could find her way on then all around the meadow. Our meadow.

I had her favorite music playing softly in the background and roses petals all throughout the meadow. Along with lilies in my hands. They were here favorite.

She looked on the verge of tears and just shook her head trying to process all of this. I smiled at her and she smiled back which made me feel so much better.

I could see Alice and Rose behind her give me a silent thumbs up before retreating back to the car.

"Hey." She said so softly walking painfully slow towards me.

"Hey." I said in the same quiet voice.

She looked around and laughed. "What. . . what is this?" She asked gesturing around her.

I shrugged. "I want to show you how much you mean to me." I said simply.

She tilted her head and looked sad for a moment. I walked towards her handing her, her lilies. "For you." I whispered handing them to her.

She took them and smiled. "My favorite." She whispered under her breath.

"I know." She looked up and smiled the smile I have missed so much lately.

She looked around her once again shaking her head and laughed lightly. "I can't believe you did this." She said shaking her head.

I laughed quietly with her. "It's nothing. Bella. Not for you." I whispered back sincerely to her.

She looked back into my eyes and smiled softly. "Edward? What are you doing?" She asked once again.

I could see the curiosity burning in her eyes, along with the hurt, and love. It broke my heart to know I caused her so much pain.

"Bella I need you to know that I am so sorry for everything. I screwed up I know that." I started out.

"You've told me all this." She said in a tired voice.

"I know Bella. But I need to tell you that I love you. So much. So much it hurts. I am so in love with you Isabella Swan. It hurts me so much to know that I hurt you. I never knew, am so sorry." She had tears in her eyes now just staring at me in awe.

"I have waited for 12 years to hear you say that." She whispered staring behind me looking in deep thought.

"I know Bella. I do. And I am so sorry for that." I said just watching her stare of aimlessly.

"Edward what do you want from me?" She whispered in an exasperated voice.

"You Bella. Only you. I need you. You're my best friend. The best part of me. Just please. I know there a million reasons for you to leave but if you can find a reason to stay I promise you I will make this work." She was still staring up at me with tears in her eyes. She looked so defeated and tired.

"Please Bella. I can't live without you. I love you. Just give me a chance. One more chance." The last part came out as a whisper.

She shook her head closing her eyes, tears falling silently down her face. "I remember the first time I met you. Even at the age of 10 you were beautiful. I was playing mindlessly by myself on the grass and a ball flew right into my flower necklace I had been working on." She had a small smile on her face at the memory

"You came running over to grab the ball when you saw me crying. You bent down to my level and lifted my chin with your finger, and smiled your stupid crooked grin." She said smiling and rolling her eyes making us both laugh lightly.

"I remember thinking you had the most beautiful eyes and I got lost in them. I completely forgot about my necklace or that I should be angry with you for ruining it. Even at the age of 9 Edward I loved you. I have loved you my _entire _life." She used her hands to emphasize her point. I could see the pain in her eyes this caused her, how much it hurt her.

"You never knew. You were supposed to be my best friend and you didn't know me well enough to know that I loved you." She said sadly.

I shook my head. "Bella how was I supposed to know? You never told me." I emphasized.

Her beautiful brown eyes shot up to mine. "This." She pointed to me and her. "This is why I never told you. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I mean it came out and it destroyed us. I tried to avoid it for as long as possible. Because you meant to much to me to lose." She said her tears falling again.

"Bella you mean _everything _to me. I love you so much I can't even explain it." I said pleading with her to understand.

"Why? Edward. Why now? After years of knowing me you never felt anything. Now that you don't have me you love me?" She asked almost hurt.

I shook my head again. I needed her to know it wasn't like that. I love her, I always have I just had no idea.

"Bella no. That's not it at all."

"It sure seems like it." She said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Bella it's not. I was just a selfish idiot. I have always loved you I just didn't realize it until you left and I knew how much I needed you."

"I get that Edward but I can't always be there to rescue you. You may need me because you're scared to be without me. That doesn't mean you love me." She argued. She isn't getting it. How can she not see I love everything about her.

"Bella no. I love you. I love everything about you. I love how you are the only person that can manage to trip on air." She rolled her eyes and laughed lightly as tears streamed down her face.

"I love the way you sing so off key that you make yourself laugh. I love that you say the stupidest things in your sleep, or the fact that you can irritate me to no end and I still love you for it." She was just shaking her head smiling at me.

"I love you Bella. Every part." I grabbed her hands in both of mine willing for her to forgive me.

"Please Bella I will do whatever it takes." I whispered when she stood silent.

"Edward. . . I love you too. So much. It just. . . I have waited 12 years for you, 12 years to tell you how I felt. And you know what you did?" I winced knowing what's coming next.

"You ran. Over and over again, breaking my heart more and more every time. So much that I can't even feel, I can barely breathe anymore. I can't just pretend this didn't happen." She whispered the last part and I knew what was coming next.

I panicked gripping her hands tighter. "Bella please. . ." I whispered.

She had a sad strangled smile on her face as she stared into my eyes. "Edward I asked you for time. I need time. I have been hurt by my best friend, my first crush, the guy I have loved since I was 9, the person I care for most in this world. One grand gesture can't just fix this." She whispered looking around the meadow once again.

"It's so beautiful." She whispered.

I had tears in my eyes now too. "Bella I am so sorry. I love you so much." I whispered at one final attempt.

She had the same strangled smile on her face and it killed me to know I put it there. It killed me to know I hurt her for 12 years without even knowing. I have caused her so much pain, and now I see this is only causing her more.

Damn Alice was right.

She fluffed my hair and stroked my cheek. I leaned into her hand closing my eyes letting the warmth of her hand comfort me.

"I can't do this." She whispered sadly before walking right out of the meadow.

"Bella." I called one last time.

She turned and waved before disappearing into the darkness.

I fell to my knees and lost it. Her rejection her more than I thought it would. Now I know how she felt, I can't believe I caused her so much pain.

I will never hurt her again. If she needed time. I will give her time. I will be waiting here when she is ready for me.

She waited 12 years for me, it's the least I can do.

**So there it is. You guys didn't think I would get them together that easy did you. Worry not. This is a Bella nad Edward story. They will end up together. It's just going to take time.**

**Let me know what you think and review=)**

**I have a story up called All I Ever Wanted. If you love all the Bella Edward angst you will enjoy it. PLease go read and review. Thank you=)**


	10. Disney Land

**Yes I know this chapter took foever. I am so sorry about that. But I am not sure whre I am going woth this story anymore so it will be updated slower than my other stories. But I will finish I promise, just bear with me.**

**So anyway here it is!**

Your Not Sorry

Chapter 10- Disney Land

_Thats what girls do. They keep you guessing_

I picked up my phone mid ring, groaning. "Hello." My voice was raspy from sleep.

"Oh my god Bella you are so lazy." Alice laughed, sounding like chiming bells.

I looked over at my clock to see it was 7 in the morning. "Alice! It's 7" I said angrily rolling over putting a pillow over my head to block the light. It was my day off for goodness sakes.

She giggled. "So."

I groaned again.

"Okay anywayyy." She said drawing out the word. "Guess what next week is!!" She squealed with so much excitment.

"Alice I warn you I am in no mood for that level of excitment."I said seriously.

She laughed. "Don't be grumpy Bell."

"Alice." I asked.

"Yeah Bell."

"Next week." I reminded her.

"Oh! yeah. It's our annual vacation!" She pratically yelled in my ear.

Ever since we were ten we have went on a family vacation every year. which just happened to be next week. I totally spaced on it.

"Oh yeah." I said still sleepy.

"Yep. And guess where were going!!" She once again squealed. I could pratically see her bouncing in my head.

"Alice just tell me." I sighed.

"DisneyLand!!" I had to hold the phone away from my ear, for fear of hearing failure.

"Alice you realize were all 23." I said rolling over to try and get comfortable to try and salvage some of my sleep.

"Bella we haven't been there since we were 10." I could pratically hear her pout.

"Yeah because after 10 we were to old." I said slowly.

"Isabella Marie Cullen! You will be on that plane next weekend or so help me-" I cut her off before she started ranting off viloent things she will do to me.

"I'll be there." I grumbled.

She squeaked. "Yay. I love you see you Friday!"

I just mumbled "I love you too bye." Before putting the pillow over my head again.

I guess next week I am going to DisneyLand. Then suddenly a thought occured to me.

Edward.

--

"So what exactly is this show about?" Julian asked walking from my kitchen into the living room to sit down.

We got Chinese takeout and are watchiing Grey's Anatomy, my favorite show ever.

"It's not about anything." I scoffed taking the box of chicken Lo Mein he was handing me with his sexy grin.

"So were basically watching a show about nothing." He said skeptically.

I rolled my eyes from my spot on the floor in between my couch and coffee table. "It's about doctors and stuff." I said taking a bite.

He sprawled out on my loveseat and raised his eyebrows skeptically.

"So like what's the point of it all?" He asked staring very intently at the screen. I laughed and patted the spot next to me for him to sit beside me.

"Okay so her." I said pointing to the main girl with my chopstix. "She was dating him, but it turned out he was married to that one doctor with the red hair." He nodded remembering who I was referring to.

"So they broke up and got back together then she died and then the broke up again,but now there married." He stared at me in confusion.

"She died? Then why is she there?" He asked completely out of the loop.

"Well they brought her back to life." He raised his eyebrows. "No no not like that, they revived her." I said in a better way.

He nodded. "Why do you watch this show bella it sounds so complicated." He said staring at the screen with furrowed eyebrows.

I shrugged and layed my head against his shoulder. "I know. It makes my life seem so much less complicated." I said smiling up at him.

He chuckled. "That's actually pretty good logic." He said putting an arm around me and kissing my forehead.

I beamed a smile and turned back to the screen. "See her. She is the other girls best friend. She was engaged to this black guy but he left her at the alter because in real life they fired him."

"Huh." He said sounding truley intrigued. I giggled.

"Ooh and him. . ."

--

"So your leaving tomorrow?" Julian asked for the tenth time as he sat on my bed and watched me pack.

"Yes Julian." I said laughing.

He nodded sadly. He was quiet for a few moment while I searched through my closet.

"Is Edward going?" He asked suddenly as if the thought just occured to him.

I looked at him sheepishly. "Yeah." I winced afraid of his reaction.

Earlyer this week he got the truth out of me and he now basically knows the entire story. And hates Edward's guts.

"Why?" He pratically whined.

I stood up and walked in between his legs that were dangling from my bed. I grabbed his face in between my hands.

"He is my best friend." I said slowly. "Yes he made some mistakes but deep down, he will always be my best friend."

"You mean deep down you will always be _in_ love with him." I rolled my eyes.

I stepped back and ran my hands through my hair, a habit I picked up from Edward, and groaned.

"I can't keep having this same fight over and over." I said exhasperated.

he huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Julian this is never going to work if you can't trust me. Edward has been apart of my life since I was 10. That isn't going to change. yes I loved him but that is just way to complicated." I explained truthfully to him.

"Okay Bella I get that but you haven't once ever told me you don't love him anymore." He challenged.

I titled my head and sighed.

"Do you still love him?" He asked again.

"Julian. . . it's complicated-" I started out.

"Yeah got it Bella." He said angrily standing up walking briskly towards my door.

"Julian don't, " I tried to grab his arm.

"I just don't know if I want to get involved in something so complicated." He said runing his hand over his face.

"It's not anymore. I told him I was finished, because I'm done with the complicated."

He closed his eyes tightly and put his hand on his forehead. "Go to california. We'll talk when you get back." He finally concluded.

I nodded sadly. He stepped forward and kissed my forehead before quickly walking out of my apartment.

Not exactly how I pictured our goodbye, but I guess I will always have the dark cloud of Edward Cullen hanging over me.

I grunted out of frustration before going back to my room to finish packing.

--

"Get up sleepy head!" Alice's shrill like voice sqealed. I opened my eyes to see her on top of my bed with her hands on her little hips. She already was in shorts and a tanktop with sunglasses on top of her spikey head.

I groaned and reached for the pillow beside me to hit her with it. I heard Rose's chuckle from the doorway.

I turned my head and opened my eyes to see Rosalie casually leaning against my door.

"What time is it?" I asked wiping the sleep from my eyes.

"Time for you to get your ass out of bed." Alice huffed kicking my side to get me up.

"9." Rose answered me finally.

"Alice are plane doesn't leave until 5." I groaned.

"Yes I know Bella but by time everyone gets ready and we load up the car it will be 11, then we can get lunch make the 2 hour drive up there, then go through security and baggage, and-" I stopped her with my hand.

"Alright Ali got it." I grumbled getting out of bed and into the bathroom. "Hurry up were meeting the boys and Edward's 10:30."

I groaned. "Foe, e, aft, to o.?" I asked with a toothbrush in my mouth.

"Yes Bella he has to go." Alice said exhasperated.

Rosalie shook her head in shock. "How did you know what she said?"

Alice shrugged. "cause we are here." I said playfully pointing to mine and Alice's head.

She giggled and we high fived before I closed my door to take my shower.

--

"Alright that's the last one." Emmet announced closing the back door to his jeep.

"So is there any room for us?" I asked with how much luggage alice, and Rose were takeing.

Jasper scoffed. "Barely." Which earned a glare from Alice.

He smiled apologetically and kissed her head, which wiped the glare right of her face.

"Alright, alright let's get going it's already 11." Edward announced.

"Where should we eat lunch?" Rose asked.

We all shrugged. "Somewhere good." Emmet said.

We all rolled our eyes. "No em were going somewhere bad." I said sarcastically.

"Well who peeied in your weedies." Emmet joked.

"We woke her up." Rose announced.

"Ah." they boys said together nodding.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay common let's go. Will stop when I scream." I said getting in to the back seat of the jeep.

Rose laughed and patted my back comfortingly, before climbing in shotgun.

We all piled in, Em and Rose in the front, Ali and Jas in the middle and my and Edward in the back. Of course. Fan-freaking-tastic.

This trip is going to be awesome.

--

We fianlly decided on Denny's after Em kept complaining that I haven't screamed.

Apparently he doesn't get the concept of joking.

"So Esme and Carlisle are really not comming?" I asked sadly. We always come with the whole family every year.

"No I guess my dad has some conference in Chicago." Edward said to everyone more than me.

"What about Charlie?" Jasper asked.

"He has work." I explained.

"So I guess it's just us kids." Emmet said clapping his hands together excitedly.

"May I ask Alice. why Disneyland?" I asked skeptically taking a drink of my soda.

Rose nodded. "Yeah I was wondering that too."

Alice pouted. "Guys." She whined. "Disneyland is the happiest place on earth."

We all laughed. "Yes Alice but we aren't 7." Edward said slowly.

She huffed. "Fine Whatever. Be ungrateful. all i wanted was to plan a happy vacation for us but if you guys are going to complain-"

We all stopped her.

"Ali we are just kidding. We'll have fun." Edward said kissing his little sisters head.

Me and Rose nodded in agreement. "Yeah Ali. We will laugh at Bella cry on all the scary rides." Rose said excitedly high fiving Alice across the table.

"Hey." I proteseted hitting Rosalie playfully.

Everyone laughed at my expense.

"Oh my god remember her at Beattle Juice." Jasper said laughing.

"Yeah she blew my eardrum out." Edward said poking his ear.

"I was 10!" I defended. "I will be fine now." I announced proudly.

They all laughed and rolled there eyes. They don't believe me. I just pouted and crossed my arms. Great friends I have.

--

"Flight 57 now boarding." The flight attendant announced.

"Finally!" Emmet boomed causing Rose to hit him in the back of the head.

"Ow what?" HE asked rubbing the back of the head.

We all laughed.

"Okay Em and Rose you are 3 a and 3 b, Bella and Edward 2A and 2b and me and Jas 4a and 15 b." She annouced handing us our tickets.

I glared at her for getting mine and Edward's seats together. She smiled apologetically.

We all picked up our carryons and made our way to the gate.

"Sorry it's first class or else I would have got 3 and 3." She explained wrapping her arm around my waist leading me to the gate.

I shrugged. "It's okay Ali." I said truthfully. She beamed a smile and kissed my cheek before skipping of to Jasper.

I laughed at her and followed them all into the plane.

we got in and I was having trouble getting my bag into the over head bin.

"Need help with that." A Velvet voice asked from behind me.

I turned around and nodded sheepishly. Edward got it up easily along with his before closing.

"Uh thanks." I said akwardly.

"You can sit by the window. I know you like it." Edward said gesturing for me to go first.

"Um Are you sure?" I asked feeling touched that he remembered.

"Of course Bells." He said sounding much like he used to talk to me. He must have noticed because he cleared his throat.

I smiled softly and slid in and he followed behind. "Thanks." I said sincerely.

He smiled his signature crooked grin that I haven't seen in so long. I didn't realize how much I missed it.

I quickly looked away before I got to caught up and tried to buckle my seat belt. I could never get it. It always gave me trouble.

I felt Edward's warm hands take it from me and buckle it effortlessly. I looked up embaressed. "Thanks." I said again.

He nodded and chuckled. "Still haven't figured it out I see."

I rolled my eyes and looked out the window making him chuckle. A sound I missed so desperatly. This is going to be a long trip.

--

"Bella. Bella honey. Time to wake up. Were here." Edwards velvet voice pulled me out of sleep.

I looked around disoriented to see Edwards emerald eyes staring back at me. "Were here."

I sat up and looked around to see everyone getting off the plane. "Oh." Was all I said.

He chuckled and stood up offering his hand. I reluctantly took it and stood up. I reached for my bag but Edward stopped me.

"I got it." He patted my bag which was on his shoulder along with his.

"Oh um thank you." I said reaching for it.

"No it's okay." He said turning around to walk down the thin aisle out of the plane.

"Um thanks." I said again.

He laughed. "You say that alot." He mused playfully.

I shrugged. "Well I am thankfull."

He laughed again. "No need to be. Just here to help." He said sincerly.

I smiled tightly and continued to follow him out of the plane.

--

"So we go two rooms. How are we going to split this up?" Jasper asked holding out two room keys.

"Boy room, Girl room!" Alice shouted excitedly with both hands in the air. Me and Rose high fived her while there love's pouted.

We are staying at the Embassy Suiets which is a beautiful hotel. I loved the ambiance of it all.

"fine." JAsper grumbled handing one key to Alice and keeping the other.

"Ooh look at that!" Emmet said pointing excitedly to a sign that read "happy hour from 5:30 to :7:30."

"What time is it?" He asked quickly.

Rose looked at her watch. " 7,"

"See ya." He said walking straight towards the bar. We all laughed and picked our bags to the rooms.

Turns out the are ajoining so that made Jas and Em happier. The rooms were so nice. There was a sitting area with a pull out couch and a bedroom with two queen beds for the boys and we had the same but with a king that we would all share.

"So should we go down with Em?" I asked once we were all settled.

"Yeah I saw a resturant downstairs too. We can grab some dinner before heading to bed since we have a long day tomorrow." Rose said.

We all agreed and made our way downstairs. We seen Emmet sitting on a chair with two pinkish looking drinks in front of him.

"What is that?" I asked taking a sip.

"Mmm Sex on the beach." I approved taking another long sip.

"Hey. Get your own." Emmet said snatching it from me and I just smiled sheepishly.

"Sex on the beach really Emmet? Have you came out to Rose yet?" Edward teased which earned a punch in the arm from his brother.

"Ow." Edward complained.

"You deserved it. "Alice said shrugging, before walking towards the bar grabbing my hand and pulling me along with her.

After we finished out happy hour and about 4 drinks we ate at the resturant right off the bar and made our way back into our rooms.

I was brushing my teeth while Rose brushed her hair into a ponytail and Alice took out her contact lenses.

"So how's being around Edward?" Rose asked.

I said something even Alice couldn't identify so we waited until we were all settled into bed before talking.

I groaned laying back. In the middle unfourtantely. "It's akward and wiered. Sometimes we will like remember something and be totally back to Edward and Bella again. Then we notice and snap back into the akward crap."

They both Hmmed sympathetically.

"By the end of the week I think you guys will be fine." Alice said.

"That's why you planed this trip isn't it." I accused, it suddenly all falling into place.

Rose laughed realizeing that could be true.

"Oh yes Bella. We have had a trip every year for 12 years." Alice brushed off.

I looked at Rose and she shared the same unbelieving look I did. we both know she had other intentions.

"Alright Ali." I said skeptically. I turned on my side and snuggled into Rose playfully making her giggle.

"Get off me." She said laughing.

I laughed too. "No." I said childishly and not moving an inch.

She laughed even harder.

"what are you two doing?" Alice asked sitting up to look.

"Bella why are you cuddling with rose?" She asked blankly.

I shrugged. "Cause I wanna." I sang.

She giggled. "Ooh I have an idea!" She suddenly jumped off the bed and ran to the other side pushing Rose to the middle and I to where she was.

"Ali what?" Rose asked.

"now I can cuddle with Rose too." She announced proudly snuggling herself into Rose's other side.

"Seriously!" Rose said throwing her hands up while me and Alice giggled.

Then we heard a pound on the wall. "Hey get to sleep in there!" Emmet shouted through the wall.

We stayed silent for a moment before bursting out laughing.

"Okay lets get to bed. " I said rolling over and leaving poor Rose alone. Alice did the same.

"Thank you." Rose said exhasperated and we all eventually got comfortable and fell in a silent night of sleep.

--

"Bell get up." Alice said shaking me. I woke up to an unfamiliar place and Alice sitting on the bed beside me.

"Rose is in the shower, go across and use the boys before they wake up." Alice instructed.

Still in my disoriented state I got up and followed directions not questioning, because I was to tired.

It was dark in the Boys' room so I just went silently into the bathroom and took my shower. I took a nice hot shower and got out to wrap a towel around me. Only to realize walking over half asleep I forgot my clothes.

"Crap." I whispered trying to think what to do.

I figured the guys were still asleep so I could run in my towel back to our room. It sounded like a good enough plan.

I peeked my head out and everything was still dark. I did a celebratory smile and rushed across the room.

I was to busy trying to be quiet and make sure no body came out of the bedroom but I totally forgot to check the living room. So while I was looking back I ran right into something.

Instead of falling backwards I was caught by two arms. I looked up into two sparkling green eyes.

"Nice outfit." Edward whispered with a smirk on his face.

I blushed and pulled myself away from him. "Uh I forgot my clothes." I said trying to explain this very awkward situation. "Sorry." I tacked on to the end.

He smirked again. "No that's really all right." He said sugestivly staring down at my very exposed body.

I rolled my eyes and slapped his chest before walking out of there quickly. I could hear his chuckle as the door closed.

What a wonderful start to this I'm sure wonderful day.

--

As we pulled into the Disneyland parking lot Emmet was very, very excited.

"We need some music." He said putting on his Black Eyed Peas CD and balring it throught the speakers.

We all bobbed our head to the begining music, it was catchy, and plus we were all secretly excited for the day.

"_I got a feeling." _Emmet sang out happily making us all laugh and sing along.

"_That tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good good night." _We all sang out in unison.

"_Woohoo!"_ Emmet sang with the song making us all laugh again.

"Hey guys." Jasper said catching our attention. "Tonight is gonna be a good good night." He said playfully.

We all gave him a disbelieving look at the ridiculous comment he just made. Alice shook her head smiling and gave him a kiss and we all laughed.

"You are so wiered Jas." Rose laughed.

He just shrugged and threw his arm around Alice.

--

"Okay so we will go to Disney today." Alice said as we waited to get our bags checked just right out the parks. We had 3 day hopper passes, so we were heading to Disney today, california adventure tomorrow and then both the next day.

We all just nodded along. It was way to early to be vocal. Why we are here before the park is even open is beyond me.

She handed us all our tickets and we headed to the Disney gate to wait in _another _line. I guess that's just part of the experience of disneyland.

"So." Alice said pulling out a map of disneyland. "We will go through here, we will go on this first then that, then. . . " I tuned her out after awhile. I will just follow along.

we finally made it to the front and gave them out tickets. Once we got into Disneyland Alice was leading us all over the place to go with her schedule. This should be a fun trip.

She ran into a store while we all went to the restroom before we started riding rides. we all came out to see Alice waiting for us with 6 different mickey mouse ears.

I laughed a little. "Alice what in the world are those."

"Our hats silly. We are going to have the full experience." She said strapping on a Pirates of the Carribean Mickey ears on Jazzy's head.

She then handed us all our's.

"We seriously have to wear these?" Edward asked looking at his Mickey hat with disgust.

"Yes." Alice said with her hands on her hips. He rolled his eyes but complied. He strapped his hat on.

Alice had a pink on, I had a minnie mouse one and Em had one with cheese ears, which he was thrilled with,and Rose had a fuzzy pink one.

We looked like the biggest losers here. But we did it to please Alice.

"Okay guys there's Indiana Jones, we are going on that first." Alice said skipping to stand in the line. It only had a 20 minute wait so we figured now is a good time.

"It's four and four and there is 6 of us." Rose voiced while we waited in the line.

"We can go 3 and 3." Jasper said.

I nodded completely nervous because I hate these kind of rides. "I need to be with one boy." I voiced making them all laugh.

"I'll go with you Buddah." Emmet stepped up which I was grateful for, he is the biggest, which will make me feel the safest.

"I'll go too. And the girls can go with Eddie." Jas said.

I nodded happily. "That sounds good."

They all laughed.

"Really bell you are 23. It's a little kid ride." Alice said laughing at my expense.

"I don't care." I said slowly. Not caring that all the little kids around me were staring at me.

We finally made to the front and we were waiting for our car. I was so nervous especially since emmet jumpedout of a cave in the line and gave me a heart attack.

It arrived and Emmet climbed in first then me and Jas. Edward was in the middle in front of us with each of the girls at his side.

I hooked my arm in Emmet's and cuddled closely into his side, ready to hide my face if necessary.

Jas laughed next to me and patted my back comfortingly.

The ride started and I freaked out at the action of it all and all the things popping out at me. I was latched on Em's arm hiding with my eye's closed. Him and Jas where laughing hysterically at me.

Suddenly the ride stopped so I opened my eyes thinking it was over but we were still on the ride it was just pitch black.

I hid in Emmet again and Alice laughed reaching behind her to squeeze my hand. But all I felt was a hand coming at me in the pitch dark.

"AHH don't touch me!" I shouted into the complete silence so everyone heard.

Everyone started laughing hysterically and the ride continued.

ONce we got off Rose wrapped her arm around my shoulder and laughed giving me a side hug while walking.

"Are you okay honey." She asked in a baby voice.

I laughed and nudged her side playfully.

"That was not fun." I said making them all laugh again.

Emmet was streaching out his arm. "Gos Bellarina you have a death grip."

I laughed and shrugged. "Sorry. You offered to sit by me."

"yeah we are taking turns. I need a break."

"I'll go next." JAs offered. I smiled and thanked him.

Once we exited the ride we walked to our next destination. Pirates of the Carrabian.

This was a slightly longer line but I was thankful for the break. I can't handle a ride so soon.

"This on isn't scary Bell." Alice said comfortingly.

"Yeah that's what you said about the last one." I accused.

They all laughed. Yes I am a big baby I know.

"So are we going to do 3 and 3 again?" Edward asked.

We all nodded.

"So who's going with me and Jazzy?" I asked.

"I will." Alice said hopping up and down with her hadn raised.

I giggled and nodded. "Okay Ali."

We all got in the boat. Me ali and JAs in the front and the rest in the back. I hooked my arm in Jas's, like before and was ready to hide.

But as the ride continued it was nothing like the last one. This was just a peacful boatride with pirates singing and fighting. It was actually fun. So I relaxed and enjoyed the ride.

We all got off and everyone congratulated me for not screaming this time. "That wasn't bad." I said happily.

"Not fair. Jazzy's arm didn't get ripped off." Emmet pouted still complaining about his arm.

"Bella is like 5'3 Emmet really? She couldn't possibly hurt you that much." Edward teased.

"Hey! You go with her next then." Emmet whined.

"It is my turn." Edawrd said turning towards me and shrugged. I smiled tightly but turned to the other's and rolled my eyes. Joy.

"Okay so off to Space Mountiain." Alice said happily skipping to the train to take us to Tomorrow Land.

"I remember liking that ride as a kid." I said happy that I wasn't going to be scared.

"Yeah but it's Halloween so they redid it and added scary stuff." Rose pointed out on the map where it was featured. I groaned. Does everything have to be scary.

We rode the train and passed Fantasy land where it was all pink and cute. Alice, Rose and I awwed the whole way.

"I wanna go there it looks happy." I said.

"We will Bella. It's on the schedule." Alice said holding up her beloved schedule.

I rolled my eyes and continued to enjoy the scenery.

We got off at tomorrow land and waited in the _extremely _long line. "This one is two per car. So Bella and Edward , Jas and me, ans Rose and Em." Alice instructed we all nodded. Me more reluctantly than the others.

Edward leaned over to whisper in my ear. "It's okay I'll protect you." I looked up at him and rolled my eyes.

"I'll be fine." I said spitefully.

He raised his eyebrows skeptically. "Considering how you acted on the last two rides I respectfully disagree."

I narrowed my eyes at him and walked further up the line by Rose and Em instead. He just laughed.

We got on the ride and my stomach was doing flips. Edward was staring at me amused waiting for me to clutch on to him for dear life. But I wasn't going to. Even though I was terrified right now.

we started going and it was pitch black. I closed my eyes not wanting to fell the darkness around me.

"You can open your eyes." Edward whispered in my ear.

I reached over blindly and punched him in the arm. He laughed and I opened my eyes to see it was starting. We were zipping around fastly, crazily.

It was suprisingly fun, and the ghoasts where lame. I was laughing exsileratingly.

We got off the ride and everyone looked at be to see how I took it.

"Well I didn't hear any yelling." Jas teased.

I nudged him playfully. "It was fun." I said seriously.

"Why am I the only one Bella torchered?" Emmet whined making us all laugh.

"Sorry Em." I said hugging him.

He smiled and kissed my head. "It's fine Buddah."

"So now we are going to eat lunch." Alice said. I was getting pretty hungry.

We decided to eat at the Pizza Port in Tommorrow Land since we were there anyway.

After we ate we went on Star Tours which of course the guys loved, being huge Star Wars fans.

"Hey look there is the Jedi camp lets go watch!" Emmet said like an excited little boy, We all laughed amused but followed.

We were kind of late so we stood at the top of where the performers came out and watched all the little kids be trained. It was really cute actually.

Then Darth Vader and Darth Mall came out to attack them and it was a big dramatic event.

Darth Vader was talking to the kids and there trainer while Darth Mall pretended to keep and eye on the audience. He looked straight at us and made the motion saying he was watching us.

I laughed and looked back to see Rose shrugging when I asked her who he was looking at.

As the performance went on the little kids fought they beat the bad guys, so they came running up to right where we were.

Darth Mall came straight up to us and stared right at me making me lean back into whoever was behind me, which I'm pretty sure was Edward.

I laughed a little as he made the motion again that he was looking at me, and Edward put his arm around me possesivly.

Darth Mall continued with the forest and Rose and Alice were giggling at me and I looked at Edward with raised eyebrows.

He shrugged. "He was harassing you." He said defensivly I rolled my eyes and turned back forward.

Once the show ended we decided to head to Small World, which has always been a personal favorite of mine.

The boys complained and whined the entire way there and through the line.

"this is the longest ride ever!" Emmet groaned while we waited.

"And it's so annyoing." Jas added.

"And the stupid song gets stuck in your head." Edward put his two cents in.

We all ignored them and waited happily in the line.

"Well your beautiful girlfriends love this ride so your going because you love them so much." Alice said batting her eyelashes and Jasper who immediatly caved and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame.

"Alright." Emmet agreed reluctantly and kissed Rose's hair.

"I don't have a girlfriend so I'm free." Edward said throwing his arms up in victory.

"Oh so there is no one here that you love enough to get on this for." Rose said narrowing her eyes at him.

I pinched her arm slightly, knowing where she is getting at.

"Of course but there is no one here who loves _me _enough to want me to go on it," I groaned internally at the awkwardness of this stupid conversation.

Everyone looked at me expectnantly but I wouldn't meet any of there eyes.

"I do Eddie." Alice finally piped in and wrapping her arms around his waist.

He laughed and ruffled her hair. "Alright then." She smiled and we all piled into the boat.

Us three girls sat together and the guys behind us. We sang along happily and pointed out all the hidden Disney characters they added in.

We were all acting like 5 year olds but we didn't care, and all the guys just laughed at us.

We got out and ended up in Fantasy Land.

"Oh It's so cute here." I said looking around. "I wanna live here."

Emmet laughed and threw his arm around me. "You are a strange one Bellarina."

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Ohh Alice and Wonderland." ALice said grabbing my hand dragging me into the line. Everyone else followed behind.

"Oh look ALice." Rose said pointing to a piece of grass with Alice planted in flowers.

"Take a picture by it." I said happily pulling my camera.

She skipped happily and posed next to her name. It was very cute.

Once again the boys laughed at are childishness.

We spent the next few hours hitting all of the FantasyLand rides like, Pinocchio, Peter Pan, Snow White, and all the other little kid ones.

"Hey guys Fantasmic starts at 9 and it's 7:30, we should go get out seats, it feels up pretty fast." Alice instructed us after we finished all the rides.

So we headed to the large lake to watch the water show.

"Alright We'll go get food." Emmet said pointing to Jasper and himself. "You guys save the seats." They weren't really seats just spots on the ground.

"Okay. Ali and I will go get drinks." Rose said standing up puloling Alice with her. I glared at them. Real smooth guys.

They smiled innocently back at me and all skipped off. I was going to kill them.

Edward sat down beside me and took a deep breath.

"So Bells, enjoying DisneyLand?" He tried to ask casually.

I rolled my eyes. I soo don't want to have this awkward conversation.

"I'm actually having a lot of fun." I said truthfully.

He smiled. "I can tell." He said almost under his breath and looked out at the water.

It was quiet for a few moments, almost an awkward quiet. We didn't know how to act around eachother anymore. It was kind of sad.

"Remember last time we were here, you didn't even see Fantasmic because you fell asleep and you were so sad in the morning." He said chuckling at the memory.

I smiled invoulantarily, because I did remember. The entire next day he babyed me until I felt better.

"Yeah." I said softly.

He took a deep breath, and It scared me, because I knew at that moment, it was all coming out.

"Being here, makes me miss you. . . so much more than I already do." He added quickly.

I stay leaning back on my hands facing the lake, afraid to look at him.

My silence made him nervous. He stared intently at my face, begging me with his eyes to look back.

"Bella if I could take back the way I've acted the last few months, I would." He said still staring at me. "It kills me, constantly, that I hurt you. I just miss you, my Bella. I would really love if we could just _fix _this." He said with such passion that it made it seem like it was just that simple.

"Can't we just go back?" He asked in a whisper.

I finally met his eyes and they were boaring into mine. "I don't thinks it's that easy." I whispered.

"It can be." He almost begged. "We can do it Bella, it's me and you. _We _can make it work."

I sighed, my resolve dropping, and looked back at the lake. "I guess we could try." I said finally.

I coiuld see the smile errupt his face from the corner of my eye. He wrapped his arms around me enthusiastically.

"Thanks Bella." He sang in my ear.

I laughed a little and rolled my eyes pushing him away playfully. He chuckled and kissed my temple.

Maybe this can work.

--

Everyone got back with our dinner and we ate on the floor in a circle, talking, laughing and just having fun being together.

I could tell they were all pretty pleased with themselves that there master plan worked. I will have to get them back for this.

About a half an hour later the show started, it got so packed that Alice and Rose ended up in Jas' and Emmet's laps, and I was pushed up against the fence, we were fairly close since we were here so early.

Edawrd grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back against him. I looked up with one eyebrow raised.

He shrugged. "Just trying to make more room." He said not looking at me. I rolled my eyes but just turned back forward to enjoy the show.

They show was amazing, magical, and exciting, I loved when the Princess's came out on there boats, it was perfet how I imagined DisneyLand would be.

Right after the fire worls were gonig to start so we stayed in place.

"Did you hear that little girl she was cute?" Alice gushed.

I shook my head, my back still to Edwards chest. "No I didn't."

Alice giggled at the memory. "When Ursala came out she was screaming, 'You'll never get Ariel. No you'll never win!' It was so cute."

"Aww." Rose and I said at the same time. There has been so many adorable little kids here. I love them there so entertaining to watch.

"She was adorable." Jasper confirmed.

We all laughed. The show came on and we remained seated and stared up into the sky.

It was October so they hade Halloween stuff, so it was a themed firework show.

I am deathly afraid of fireworls, I have no idea why. I think it has to do with the loud noise, but I'm not completely sure, so I was cowered back in Eawards chest most of the time, not that he had _any _problem with that.

Everytime I flinched he tightned his arms around my waist. It was comforting so I didn't complain.

long with all the villian Disney songs laughing when 'Poor Unfourtanate Souls' came on and we all shouted with the wicked sea witch. "Now sing!"

The boiys watched us in amuesment as we acted nlike we were 10 again at disney land.

After the show we decided to leave Disney Land and head to Downtown Disney.

We all splitoff and wandered trought the shops. I of course was with Edward and the rest had ventured off.

"So have fun today?" Edward asked casually.

I nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah I really did."

He laughed at my response. "Me too."

"Best part was being able to be around you." He added in.

I rolled my eyes and nudged him playfully, and we kept walking down the street.

His phone rang scaring both of us at the sudden disrupption. He looked at the screen and cringed slightly.

"What?" I asked confused at his wariness.

"Nothing." He said quickly trying to shove his phone in his pocket.

It only peaked my curiosity. "What Edward?" I said snatching his phone from his hand.

He tried t get it back but it was to late. I read his screen as it flashed _Tanya._

I rolled my eyes and handed his phone back to him, quicking my pace so I could get away with him.

It's not like we are together or anything but he has be assuring me for weeks he only wants me, even if I kept denying him, the fact that Tanya was still calling him meant he hadn't changed.

And to think I was thinking about fixing things with him today, letting him charm me into thinking he really changed and only wants me. What a idiot I am.

"Bella." I heard him call exasperatedly jogging slightly to catch up to me.

I didn't stop. I didn't want to.

"Bella." He called again, closer this time.

He finally reached me and grabbed my wrist spinning me around to face him. "Bella. Let me explain."

I pulled my wrist out of his grasp.

"No need." I said coldly before turning back to walk away again.

But of course him being Edawrd, Elegant and fast as hell, he caught me again, by the shoulder but I didn't turn around this time.

"Bella please. I'm sorry okay. But it's true I only want you, I never lied about that." I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and turned on him so quickly he surprised him.

"Edward stop!" I pratically yelled. That immediatly shut him up. He stood there scared.

"I'm am so _tired _of this. All of it." I said waving my arms around dramatically. "Today I thought maybe we couild make it work, maybe you have changed, become everything I always knew you were capable of."

His eyes looked ashamed and hurt, he knew I was right. "I have Bell." He whispered.

"No I always am giving you chances, outting myself out there, letting me fall for you." I took a deep breath and blinked back my tears.

"Edward please stop chasing me unless your going to catch me." I whispered.

I didn't wait for a response, I walked away, leaving him behind. Once again in the back of my mind, I knew it wouldn't be the last time. I would never be able to walk away from him for good.

Today proved that to me.

**Let me know what you think. Please review. I really appreciate them=) You are all amazing.**


	11. Authors Note Please read!

**Authors Note**

**I'm sorry i'm sorry this isn't a chapter, the next one is halfway done and should be up shortly.**

**But I am in the middle of two other stories and I'm not sure which one to continue and post first, so I thought I would let you all decide =)**

**I will post both summarys here and please review letting me know which one you prefer. It would really be helping me out. In a week I will count and the story with the most votes, I will put up first and continue. So please read and review.**

**Story 1**

**Someday.**

Bella Swan has the perfect boyfriend, or so she thought. When she gets pregnant at 17 well she realize that her mature boyfriend is irresponsible after all. Edward Cullen promises to support Bella forever but when she breaks his heart will he still support her? Bella Swan 4 years later finds herself 22, single with a 4 year old son. With the help of her friends can she make it through it all? What happens when Edward returns after years of no contact trying to make his way back into her and now their sons lives? Will she be able to be strong for her family and friends or fall to his charms once again. All Edward wants is to fix the family he broke, will he succed? Will they be the family they were always supposed to be?

**Story 2**

**Untitled (Not named yet.)**

Bella Swan is just Edwards younger nerdy best friend. The night before he leaves on a 3 month trip to Europe Bella tried to confess her love for him. With Edward shutting her down before she even could he leaves Bella heartbroken at home. With the help of her friend Bella turns her life around and decideds to move on and be the girl she always wanted to be. When Edward comes home he realizes more things ahve changed than he thought possible. When his little best friend is now confident and hott will he finally notice her? But while he was gone had Bella moved on? when Bella isn't the girl he loved and remembers he is determined to make her his Bella again, or will Bella be still to heartbroken to trust him enough to let him in?

**So please let me know. They aren't very good summaries I know, but the stories are much better. So please review and the next chapter should be up soon!**

**Thank you!**


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